The Sins of My Beloved
by Pixiewolf3
Summary: No words needed to be said.  It was over in an instant. She didn't see it coming.  She couldn't have seen it coming.  Her world has changed forever all because of one person. .  Ichigo.  Rated M for Lemons mmm Lemons.  Ichigo x Rukia
1. Chapter 1

THE SINS OF MY BELOVED

Note: The characters are not mine. Please review!

Pixiewolf3

Chapter 1

_RUKIA_

She wasn't sure how exactly it had happened. 'Well that's not entirely true is it,' thought Rukia morbidly. She had started it all when she turned him into a shinigami that night. Since then they had fought together in numerous battles against countless enemies. They had fought for their lives together and he had fought for her. She had been naive to believe it would last forever.

Nothing lasts forever.

'No!' Grumbled Ichigo angrily, running his fingers through his shockingly orange hair. He had become fidgety, his body becoming tenser the longer they talked. At the time she never could have comprehended these types of emotions, not in Ichigo. She would understand soon.

'What do you mean, no,' Rukia shouted in response a bit too loudly. It had shocked her a little, to hear herself yelling at Ichigo. Not so long ago they had shared this very room and she would look forward to her late night discussions with Ichigo. Seeing him had made her heart flutter a bit even if she would never admit it. Even his mere presence had a calming effect on her.

He wasn't looking at her anymore.

He didn't look at her much anymore.

The sound of his voice brought her out of her thoughts; it had lost some of the anger,

'You can tell Urahara that he can use his own body to test his new modified souls. I'm not a lab rat you know,' he rubbed at his neck, his gaze fixed just over her left shoulder.

'Another new habit,' noted Rukia. Developed over the last few months as Urahara had had both herself and Ichigo participating in any number of increasingly questionable and dangerous experiments, many of which they had been unaware of up until Urahara would appear grinning and end the experiment. As she remembered the last of Urahara's experiments Rukia shivered, feeling Ichigo's severe gaze fall on her. He wasn't looking out the window or above her left shoulder, he was looking at her.

It was making her nervous.

Rukia looked up at Ichigo, his finger pointed at her,

'I'm surprised you've agreed to this considering what happened last time,' Ichigo replied with a smirk. His comment hit her hard, Rukia's face reddened with embarrassment. She rubbed her lower back subconsciously at the terrible memory.

Figuring he would never give in she stood up abruptly, knocking his hand to the side she flashed him a dark look. She strode quickly to the door, slamming it open; she stalked through towards her room, her skin prickling with anger when she heard the roar of laughter drifting from Ichigo's room.

The last few months had been bad,

'near intolerable is more like it,' she thought bitterly.

Ever since their fight with Aizen and the Arrancar in Hueco Mundo things had steadily been getting worse. She and Ichigo had fought all the time about everything in the past but still remained as close as ever. Now the only time he ever even looked at her let alone said a word to her was when they were discussing their duties as a shinigami. Now even those conversations were filled with cruel words. She flicked the light on in her room, crossed the room quickly dropping heavily onto her bed. She was unaccustomed to all the emotions related to being around humans let alone being human.

She turned to lie on her side so that she could face the window.

'It wasn't supposed to be like this. What's his problem? What did I do?' She asked herself.

She felt sick all the time. A small part of her still wanted to beg for forgiveness from Ichigo for whatever it was that she had done. She quickly pushed that thought aside. She pushed all the thoughts and feelings associated with Ichigo into the deepest part of her mind determined to lock them away forever.


	2. Chapter 2

THE SINS OF MY BELOVED

Note: The characters are not mine. Please review!

Pixiewolf3

CHAPTER 2

_ICHIGO_

Ichigo lay awake in his bed for a long time after Rukia left. He could feel the tension that had been building in him over the last few months, like a weight on his chest slowly crushing him.

'I am getting good at being mean,' he thought darkly remembering the angry look she had given him before she stormed out.

'Well I guess I have succeeded in what I set out to do. It has to be like this. This is the only way I can protect her.'

Every time they went to investigate a disturbance was another chance someone or all of them wouldn't come back.

Or worse, they wouldn't come back because of him.

He was a monster.

'How can anyone want to be with a monster?'

If he could push Rukia far enough away than she would be able to do what needed to be done when the time came.

There would be no time for hesitation.

He could feel the changes already happening within him. His control over the other Ichigo was slipping. The last few months had been bad.

He first noticed it while they were in Hecdo Mundo, when he had started hearing the hollow inside him. It slithered through his mind like a snake eroding his defences waiting for an opportunity to escape if only for a little while.

Long enough.

He had tried to hide that dark part of him from everyone including himself but it fought even now against his inner defences waiting for an opportunity to take control.

He shivered at the thought of the dark whispers slowly eroding his inners walls.

It was only a matter of time before the whispers became reality.

Ichigo had decided 2 months ago that something drastic needed to be done to protect his friends from what was coming. It had been after one of Urahura's ever increasing number of dangerous 'tests.'

It had been a day like any other, they had just finished with one of Urahara's surprise 'tests' when Rukia was alerted to a Hollow attack. They were all tired, so Rukia decided to take care of it herself. This situation wasn't in itself unusual.

'If Chad hadn't been there, Rukia would have-'he closed his eyes trying to block out the memory of Rukia lying very very still.

He shifted positions trying in vain not to think about all the close calls he and his friends had had over the last few years. The image of Rukia's still form invaded his mind once again despite his attempts to block it out. He remembered the rage he felt when he first saw her laying on the muddy ground her face, ashen. He remembered the pain he felt as he turned her and the relief he felt when he heard her small breathes. He also remembered that other feeling, the one he knew he couldn't tell anyone about.

His other self's lust for violence had forced itself to the surface.

_It's going to happen . . . any second now . . . any moment. She'll be dead. Dead. DEAD!_

It was then that he had felt the change begin; if the others hadn't been there he would have lost control,

'I would have-'he cut his train of thought off swiftly, resting the back of his arm against his forehead he forced himself not to think about his other self. He had never lost control in front of his friends, but at that time, with Rukia laying there his other self was exhilarated and ready for battle, ready to fight anyone and it was pleased that Rukia was injured. The sight of her blood upon the ground that had filled him with such dread had suddenly become a riveting sight. Glorious and sensual.

If he had listened to that voice, 'I might have let her die. I might have been the one to end her life. And I would have enjoyed it." Ichigo shook his head morosely, he had been down this path of remembering and self deprecation and he had no desire to walk it this night.

It was that evening when he made the choice. Ichigo picked at the blanket on his bed trying to push the feeling of loss back to a tiny corner of his mind.

He had taken her back to her room where Orihime healed her injuries. He had sat the whole night beside her until she woke. The hollow voice sinking deeper into his mind,

_*Dead! Dead! Dead!*_

He remembered the feeling of relief when she opened her eyes and turned her head to look at him. This was a familiar scene to them both. He had been in her place countless time only to wake to find her sleeping form slumped next to his bed. When she begun struggling to sit up in her bed for a second he forgot what he needed to do. He had rushed to help her sit up without thinking. He hovered restlessly over her as she struggled into a sitting position, her violet eyes staring intently up at him, worry in her eyes. The memory of her lying injured and bloody flashed through his mind and he felt his body react with sickening alacrity.

Reality, like gravity is a harsh mistress.

Not only had she had been reckless by not waiting for him so that they could meet the danger together. She had rushed on ahead and by the time they had all arrived she was injured, she was vulnerable. She would need to be stronger, much stronger than she was.

He would make her stronger, no matter the consequence. She couldn't let herself be vulnerable, even for an instant, not when he was around.

He couldn't look her in the eye. He didn't want her to see the disgusting creature that he was to become just yet. He straightened and backed away into the shadow of the room, turning his body from her.

Even now he could still remember everything clearly, at the time he felt it had taken him an eternity to decide,

'Ichigo?' Asked Rukia her voice heavy with sleep.

'You should rest and regain your strength,' replied Ichigo standing,

'I'm glad you're okay.'

'Ichigo could feel his resolve wavering. He didn't want to separate from her. Maybe there was another way. Maybe there was time to find another way,' he had thought.

'Did I kill it,' asked Rukia trying to sit up. Ichigo turned and started walking towards the door.

'Ichigo! Ichigo! Answer me,' insisted Rukia leaning against the headboard.

Something in Ichigo snapped he could feel the anger, and the fear that had been building inside him breached the walls of calm he had so carefully built around himself. He had wanted to leave, and at the sound of her voice he forgot his decision for a moment. He steeled himself against what he would have to do.

He bowed his head for a moment and sighed, 'I'm so sorry.'

"Ichigo, answer me!" Commanded an exasperated Rukia.

He took two long steps toward her and slammed his hands down on either side of her making the bed jerk violently. His face inches from her, his reply dripping with barely controlled rage,

'Are you crazy? Who do you think you are being so reckless? You were lucky Chad was there to save your stupid ass. You're too weak to take on a hollow that strong.' He watched as her face turn from white to red, he stood up briskly triumph written clearly across his features.

Her confusion over his unexpected comments quickly changed into anger, lips turned down in a scowl, her eyes growing even darker with her own building rage,

'You dare question me! Substitute! Human! I am a Kuchiki and I don't have to answer to the likes of you. Nor do ever have to explain my decisions to YOU.'

He could taste the tension in the air as he turned to leave the room. He would put her out of his mind; it would be easier that way for the both of them. If they hated each other she wouldn't have to worry about him and he wouldn't have to worry about her. If he distanced himself he couldn't hurt her. If he ignored her, she would forget him. He felt his chest tighten; he stood with his back to her unable to face her. He had to do this; he didn't want to hurt her. If that part of him didn't think of her as a threat maybe he wouldn't have to worry about what might happen to her if he lost control of himself.

'But she has to be prepared for when I...She has to able to kill me.'

He balled his fists at his side and straightened his back,

'Do whatever you want. I don't care anymore. You're useless.' He felt his chest tighten as the words left his mouth.

He had turned his back so that he didn't have to see her face, but her silence spoke volumes.

He walked from the room without a word and closed the door behind him. He stood just inside the door to his room for an hour maybe two in wordless horror of what he had done. He had turned his back on his best friend and called her weak all at the same time.

'It was for the best,' he said to the air as he finally got ready for bed.

'I need to protect her from myself. No hesitation. She can't have any hesitation when the time comes.'

He continued to stare out the window as the memory of what had happened all those months ago finally faded from his mind. Since that time he had successfully avoided her, as much as possible. Everything from spending more time studying to hanging out with his other friends, they seemed oblivious to the widening rift between himself and Rukia. He felt his chest tighten with regret at how easily she had transitioned to a life without him. She seemed happier.

'Then maybe it was for the best,' he said again to the darkness. He could feel his other side just under the surface of his mind, always waiting. He turned to face his clock reading the numbers with a groan,

'3:30am.'

'Well at least I don't have to worry about nightmares tonight.'


	3. Chapter 3

_CHAPTER 3_

_RUKIA_

Rukia awoke with a gasp.

For the last few months she had been having terrible nightmares and they were taking a toll both mentally and physically. It was getting more and more difficult to hide her discomfort from her friends and from her Captain. Ever since that terrible night she had had horrible violent nightmares that always began with her running towards something only to arrive to find all of her friends dead. It was so realistic; she could feel the sweat, terror and ecstasy as she raced through the forest. Her lungs burned with effort but she knew if she stopped even for an instant she would be dead.

It was ecstasy. Killed or be killed. She could feel her body hunger for the challenge.

So she continued to run not paying any attention to the branches that scratched at her clothes and her skin or the rocks that dug painful gouges in the bottom of her feet. Then right when she could go no further she would exit the forest into a clearing lit only by the moon and the stars. Only then did she look down at her hands that weren't her hands but claws covered in blood.

Suddenly the world turned sideways and the ecstasy and hunger disappear.

She closes her eyes as the sick feeling washes over her again but when she opens her eyes Ichigo would be in front of her and he is say something she can't quite hear.

Then she would wake up. Nightmares wouldn't normally have bothered her but these where so realistic. The feeling of pure ecstasy as she tore apart the bodies of her victims unnerved her the most.

She crawled out of bed; her exhaustion now replaced by restlessness, and popped her modified soul out of its dispenser and into her mouth. The tension from her nightmare would make it impossible for her to fall asleep. Opening the window slowly she slipped silently out into the warm night.

She prowled the streets looking for souls and hollows. Usually her phone indicated if one was nearby but there were always smaller hollows and souls wandering around that wouldn't be strong enough to be sensed. She jumped from roof top to roof top trying to get a better view of the city. It was an exhilarating feeling to run across roof tops and through silent alley ways. She let the tension of the last few months slowly drain from her body.

After a few minutes she landed silently in a park near her school and walked without direction or purpose towards the centre. If Rukia from 2 years ago could see her now she would shake her head in disappointment. She walked over to the vacant swings and sat down heavily.

'It's that stupid Ichigo's fault.' She felt her stomach lurch at the mention of his name.

'It's his fault; he has made me weak with human emotions. Before I met him I could have taken care of that hollow no problem. It's his fault I was careless.' She declared hesitantly to the night.

She wrapped her fingers tighter around the chains of the swing. She thought about that night. It had been a long time since she had thought about that night. She hadn't told anyone what happened between herself and Ichigo but she was fairly certain the others knew something was up. The fight was a standard one, or at least it was supposed to be but she had forgotten to take into account her fatigue it was a rookie mistake. She was careless and underestimated the Hollow. She had assumed it was a weak one since they hadn't fought any powerful ones since Aizen. It had been her first and last mistake. The creature gained the upper hand quickly and then the world went black.

When she regained consciousness she recognized immediately that she was in her sparsely decorated room and Ichigo was sitting quietly beside her bed. He wore a look on his face that she had never seen before. His normally open features where now tense with thoughts that were obviously troubling. His normally wild hair orange was even crazier and his clothes were rumbled and mismatched as if he hadn't been paying attention when he put them on. He had looked up a few seconds later, his expression was blank, she noticed.

Over the past two years she had gotten quite adept at reading Ichigo's many expressions. There had been only a few times that she couldn't quite recognize his expression and when she had asked him about the thoughts and feelings he was having, to make that particular expression on his face, he had turned red and changed the subject.

When he noticed she was awake he averted his gaze. They had fought after that, but it had been different then the fights they usually had. It didn't feel like Ichigo was fighting with her, it felt like he was fighting with someone else.

She struggled into a sitting position, feeling for the first time the full extent of her injuries. She groaned with pain wrapping an arm around her midsection trying to alleviate the pain that wracked her body. He had gotten close to her, his hands inches from her body but not touching her. His face inches was from hers, his eyes burning holes into her soul when she saw for the first time the pain and anger in his eyes. She could also see something else, something in his eyes that chilled her to the bone. She had been so shocked that she pushed herself back further into the pillows not wanting to be any nearer to him. If his expression had been a shock his words sliced through her,

'weak and stupid,' she saw red.

Ichigo was the only person who could push her buttons even her friend Renji whom she grew up with had never been able to make her truly angry. Not that he would ever try.

Ignoring the chilling look he had given her she lashed out at him saying the most hurtful things she could, expecting him to continue, but rather than fight back he just stood and turned his back to her. She didn't understand, Ichigo had never acted like this in the past.

Then he said the words she would never forget.

'I don't care anymore.' She still felt the same pain in her chest months later. He had gone to hell and back to save her, what had changed.

He had left after that, she hadn't even noticed. That was the first night she cried since she was a little girl.

Rukia's finger's curled tighter around the cold chain of the swing as she stared out into the inky blackness of the night weary from the emotional memories. A tremor shook her as she tried in vain to suppress the feeling of anguish caused by Ichigo's rejection of her.

She stood up from the swing quickly and took a few purposeful strides forward out into the open grass of the park.

"Why should I care what that person thinks!" Rukia stated out loud to no one in particular.

Taking to the sky she searched the town with renewed vigour anxious to erase Ichigo from her mind once again. She spotted a soul wandering aimlessly near the park. She descended on it, anxious to banish all of her conflicting emotions. She unsheathed her zanpaktou and landed in the spot she had seen the soul. Scanning the area quickly she could sense nothing. Walking a little ways down the road she felt the smallest hint of reitsu. She continued to walk in the direction of the reitsu that continued to flicker faintly just out of reach.

After 15 minutes of alleys and silent streets she finally entered a large empty open area. The reitsu was strong here, stronger than she had originally thought. A pang of doubt entered her mind along with Ichigo's voice telling her she was being reckless, and weak. Pushing the thought angrily aside she told a bold step forward towards the shadowy area she had last felt the strong presence. It struck without warning, a blow landing squarely on her sword with such force that it knocked the wind from her and sent her sprawling. She jumped quickly to her feet and scanned the area only to find nothing. She took a hesitant step forward towards the place she last felt the reitsu when she saw a flicker move quickly through the trees. She waited for the attack, this time she would be ready. It came suddenly striking her again, she had been ready for the attack, and she just hadn't been ready for the second attack.

Just as she blocked the first blow she felt the second reitsu, she tried to dodge out of the way but was a second too slow. She felt the sensation of warm sticky blood flow freely down her arm making her grip on her sword slippery. She rounded on the first attacker, quickly slicing its head from its body. Just as its head hit the ground the second Hollow descended from the trees on great leathery wings. It was fast, but she was faster. She froze the Hollow in seconds and watched as it shattered. She gazed across the battle grounds surveying her handy work. Pleased with the outcome she sheathed her zanpaktou and began making her way back to the house.

By the time she crept through her open window her arm was throbbing with pain. She forced herself through causing the scab to break and the blood began flowing anew from the wound. Biting back a curse she entered her human form again.

Creeping down to the clinic she dressed her wound awkwardly, it had been a deep shoulder wound making it difficult to clean and apply a bandage. After a few moments of fumbling and more blood she managed to apply the bandages. Slipping her top back on, she snuck through the silent house to her room shutting the door behind her with a soft click. Slipping under the covers she burrowed into the comforter and drifted off into a dreamless sleep.

_3 Days Later_

Rukia struggled awkwardly into another blouse. It had been three days and her wound had already seeped through almost every shirt she owned. She looked mournfully at the new white bandage before she started the excruciating task of buttons.

She wished a slow painful death on the person who invented buttons.

So far she had kept her injury from her friends and the nameless orange haired person by spending all of her free time hiding in the library. She sighed heavily as she finished the last button. She looked at herself in the mirror, she would never have considered herself pretty; she was covered in bruises and half healed injuries plus she was to short and had no breasts to speak of.

'Not that a shinigami needs them,' she thought quickly scolding herself for having such ridiculous thoughts in the first place. Turning away from the mirror she exited the washroom and pulled her cell phone from her pocket. She inspected the text again trying to figure out if there was some sort of hidden loophole that would get her out of the group patrol set for that evening. Sighing with defeat she shut her phone with a snap and began making her way to the exit and towards her friends and a certain nameless orange hair individual waiting by the schools exit.


	4. Chapter 4

_CHAPTER 4_

_ICHIGO_

Five minutes into the dreaded evening and Ichigo was already on edge when he felt the telltale reitsu of a hollow. Unsheathing his sword he leapt from the rooftop and sped towards battle. He could sense Rukia in close pursuit just as clearly as the hollow he was chasing.

The battle was quick; the hollows had not been powerful ones. He scanned the scene in front of him; Orihime was healing a small wound on Chad's chest while Rukia talked to Uryu. Ichigo watched Rukia's slender fingers brush a stray hair out of her eyes and almost felt as though things were back to normal.

'Almost,' he thought dejectedly sheathing his sword when Orihime signaled to Ichigo. Ichigo instinctively felt for Rukia's reitsu and felt a wave of relief at its familiar feel,

'I'm going to have to stop doing that,' he reminded himself as Orihime came up beside him. Healing session over Rukia and the others had already begun walking in the direction of their respective houses leaving Orihime alone with Ichigo. They walked in companionable silence for a while when Orihime stopped abruptly. Ichigo, realizing she had stopped, stopped and turned around to face her.

'What's up Orihime?' he asked.

'She looks worried,' he thought as he waited for her to speak.

'It's about R-Rukia,' said Orihime softly, twisting her fingers in the hem of her shirt.

'I know you two have been fighting lately, but I was wondering if you have noticed anything odd about her lately. I mean I know you two fight hollows more often than the rest of us but could you tell her to come to me if she has injuries,' blurted Orihime quickly as if expecting Rukia to jump out at any moment.

'Hollow fights? What extra hollow fights,' thought Ichigo, feeling his temper flaring again.

'Was that stupid women going out alone?'

'What was she thinking?'

'No she wouldn't do anything that dangerous,' he argued with himself.

Realizing he hadn't responded to a now panicked Orihime he smiled,

'well you know Rukia, stubborn as always, besides how do you know we have been fighting?' He asked trying to change the subject until he had more time to think about the possibility of Rukia fighting alone.

Orihime, unprepared for Ichigo's question, blushed bright red and began walking quickly.

'Oye Orihime, wait up,' he yelled, relieved the topic was no longer on Rukia's questionable habits.

'It hard not to notice when you two fight,' she said softly, slowing her pace and looking down at her hands and her now wrinkled shirt. He didn't really know how to respond,

'I guess I can't be surprised, Orihime does notice things like this after all,' he thought to himself. Looking at the still red Orhime he slung his bag over his shoulder and grinned,

'Well don't let it bother you, okay. It's just a silly argument.' She smiled up at him as they continued to walk toward their respective home.

'Just a silly argument,' he repeated to himself as he waved goodbye to Orihime.

_RUKIA_

He was staring at her again.

She was tempted to stick out her tongue at him.

She focused on her dinner trying to ignore his stare. She couldn't shake the feeling that Ichigo was analysing her, making her feel even more self conscious.

'Dammit!' she thought scolding herself.

'Another pointless human emotion.' She began shovelling the food into her mouth in earnest,

'He can't stare at me if I am in my room,' she thought as she put the last carrot in her mouth and pushed her chair back from the table.

'Thanks for the meal. I am tired so please excuse me for the evening,' she said quickly to the other members of Ichigo's family. Before anyone had a chance to question her she was already safely in her room.

Closing the door behind her she flopped down on her bed and lay on her back. She wanted to go out tonight to relieve some of the tension she felt.

Most of all she wanted to talk to her friend Ichigo.

Flipping over she buried her face in her pillow. She thought wistfully of how she and Ichigo had spent many nights talking.

'Why does my chest hurt?'

_ICHIGO_

Ichigo glanced across the table at the empty chair half listening to his two sisters's and father,

'It had been quite a sight to see the prim and proper Rukia. Well prim and proper around everyone but him, shovel her entire dinner into her mouth then declare she was tired. Oh and basically run from the table.'

He couldn't get the earlier conversation out of his head. Every time he looked at Rukia he wondered whether it could have possibly have been true. He could find no evidence injuries but then again he couldn't see everything. He took a sip of water to hide his blush. Deciding he needed to think about this situation without the 'idiotic' ramblings of his father he picked up his plate and left the table.

Sighing with relief he sank into his bed and closed his eyes. It had been a long day and he still had to figure out what Rukia was doing.

'What was she doing sneaking out at night anyways,' he thought angrily.

'She could get seriously hurt or worse especially without backup.'

'Wait I can't jump to conclusions,' he said out loud to himself trying to calm his emotions. Letting out the breath he hadn't known he was holding he sat up on his bed.

There was a soft knock on his door followed by the sound of running feet.

'Dadddd, I told you I would ask him,' whined the voice of his sister.

'Ice Cream, Ice Cream, Ice Cream,' chanted his father loudly through the house.

'Ichigo wanna come with us for Ice cream,' asked his sister through the door.

'No thanks sis,' replied Ichigo.

'Kay, see you later,' answered his sister followed by the sound of running feet and the slam of the front door.

20 Minutes Later

Ichigo walked through the empty house revelling in the unanticipated tranquillity. It had been a long day and he was tired and ready for a shower, 'a long shower,' he thought as he slung his towel around his shoulders and continued walking to the washroom.

Grinning he opened the door.

He had forgotten about her…

It had been the shock of his life. Standing two meters in front of him was Rukia in her bra and skirt trying to re bandage her arm. They're eyes meet briefly before Ichigo's gaze slid to her wounded shoulder and then to the bandage in her hands. Without saying a word Ichigo walked up to her side and took the gauze from her hands and began to gently apply it to her wound. He hadn't thought about what he was doing, his brain had shut down the instant he opened the door and saw her standing there.

She stood completely still as he held her arm. He revelled in the softness of her skin.

'How could someone so strong be so soft,' he wondered wrapping the bandage with practiced hands. He had done this many times before but this time was different, when he touched her warm silky skin he felt himself flush with heat, his stomach tighten and his mouth go dry. He ran his hand over the bandage, smoothing it down gently, lightly running his fingers across her bare shoulder and down her spin. He felt her body relax into his touch. She let out quiet sigh as he ran his callused fingers back up her spin and around her neck with almost painful slowness.

Ichigo took a step forward, leaning down he brushed his lips against her neck. He could feel her shiver at the contact relaxing further against his hands. He closed his lips gently nibbling her neck, pressing his hand firmly on the small of her back and bringing his other hand up to cup the side of her face.

SLAM

'I ate to muuuuuch. Wait! Wait! Your dear old dad is dying and you don't even care?' Cried the voice of Ichigo's father.

Ichigo leapt away from Rukia. His mind racing,

'What was I doing,' he asked himself as Rukia grabbed her shirt roughly from the countertop, her face red with embarrassment she pushed past Ichigo running out into the hall and into the sanctuary of her room.

_RUKIA_

Slamming the door behind her, she slid to the floor her shirt still clutched in her fist. She leaned against the door, the cold wood felt nice against her burning skin. She brought her fingers up to her neck,

'Ichigo kissed me?' she thought wretchedly feeling her face heat up again and her stomach do a little flip. She threw her now wrinkled blouse across the room in frustration and pressed her hands over her eyes and groaned softly,

'And I was half naked too,' she lamented.

'All I wanted was to change my bandage,' she cried out in frustration.

Letting her hands fall to her side she stood up and crossed the room to the mirror on her closet door. Inspecting Ichigo's handiwork she felt an unfamiliar warmth uncurl itself in her stomach as she thought of how gentle his hands had been as they caressed her skin. She had been totally unprepared for his reaction; she had thought he would ignore her. When she had gotten injured 2 weeks ago he had just brushed her off without a word while Orihime healed her.

'He didn't ignore me,' she said fingering the edge of the bandage. This had been the first time since that terrible day that Ichigo hadn't ignored her or treated her like a child. In an instant she felt relief wash over her followed swiftly by anger.

'What the hell, I don't need that stupid Ichigo to feel anything for me. I don't care what he thinks.'

'Do you hear that Ichigo, I don't care what you think. Leave me alone,' yelled Rukia through the wall towards Ichigo's room next door.

_ICHIGO_

His sleep had been, he searched for the right word,

'fitful, troubled, restless, um, nonexistent,' he grinned at the successful definition of that night's sleep. Looking over at his clock the glowing numbers only served to darken his mood.

'6:20'

Sighing heavily he pushed back the covers and swung his legs over the edge of the bed.

'At least I will be able to avoid Rukia this way,' he thought as he began dressing for school. It had been so stupid. He should have turned around and walked away, he could have maybe even yelled at her but kiss her.

'Stupid,' he berated himself as he pushed back the covers.

'Well at least she had the sense to be angry with me.'

20 minutes later he had successfully escaped the house and was making his way to school.

'I wonder what my chances are that yesterday was a dream.' He asked himself as he walked down the street.

He sighed in defeat and continued to walk numbly through the empty early morning streets. It was because of her that he had spent the entire night thinking about that long slender neck beneath his lips and soft creamy skin beneath his fingers.

'What the hell,' he stated out loud as he felt himself flush red.

'Why now?' He had known her for 2 years and for that entire time they had only been friends and he only ever thought of her as a friend. What he did last night was not friendly nor were the numerous dreams starring Rukia. He felt his body react at the thought of a very naked Rukia against him. He closed his eyes and rubbed his temples irritably

'Crap. Not again.' After a few moments and calming breaths he opened his eyes slowly having successfully banished the questionable thoughts from his mind. Turning he spotted a familiar figure fumbling with her keys in front of her door.

'Oye, Orihime,' he yelled to get her attention. A very surprised Orihime, in what Ichigo could only describe as a squeak, dropped her keys and books off the front step and into the garden below. Ichigo jogged through the gate to pick up her books and keys and handed them to the very flustered Orihime.

'Ichigo, w-what are you doing here so early. Oh no has my watch stopped working again am I late?' Panicked Orihime grabbed her books and started off hurriedly towards the school.

'Don't worry you're not late, I'm just early,' he replied as he walked up to her. As they walked towards the school, even Orihime's constant chatter could not keep him from thinking about his current problem with Rukia.

'Never mind the kiss, what has she been doing. There had been the wound on her shoulder but there were countless other bruises and half healed cuts from who knows where.' 

He tried to think back to when she was last injured in battle. He caught a glimpse of Orihime out of the corner of his eye and sighed inwardly.

'She's been going out alone,' he thought dejectedly.

'You know what Ichigo this is nice just you and me you know. We never get to hang out just the two of us. W-we should uh, maybe if you want to, spend more time together,' asked Orihime, nervously looking up at Ichigo.

'Ichigo? Ichigo? The sound of his name brought him out of his painful thoughts of Rukia.

'Ich-'

'Hey Orihime,' asked Ichigo cutting his friend off,

'How long have you noticed Rukia's injuries?' Ichigo watched patiently as Orihime tapped a finger to her lips and tilted her head to the side.

'Well um, let's see, 4 or 5 months maybe, why?' Answered Orihime her expression full of concern.

'Oh no reason really, I was just trying to remember something that's all,' he replied, plastering a less than sincere smile on his face.

'Do you think I should talk to her about it?' Asked Orihime pushing a wayward strand of hair behind her ear.

'I am going to have to do something about Rukia. I obviously can't talk to her myself. If I had someone else confront her she would just become her usual obstinate self and deny everything,' he thought as he and Orihime walked through the gate.

'I need someone to follow her without her knowledge just for a little while to make sure she's alright. It can't be me, she can sense me and the others won't do. There's only one person up for this challenge,' he thought feeling his mood lift for the first time in days.

'Renji,' his mind shouted triumphantly at such a clever idea.

'He would be perfect, he trained with her, he's not doing anything but freeload at Urahara's shop, and he's friends with Rukia so that means he will be discrete,' mind made up Ichigo stopped and turned abruptly,

'Ichi-', started Orihime

'No, don't I will take care of this. And could you please keep this to yourself,' stated Ichigo cutting Orihime off in mid sentence.

'Y-yes,' squeaked Orihime as Ichigo began running down the street in the opposite direction.

'Ichigo, Ichigo where are you going, school is this way,' shouted a concerned Orihime.

'Sorry Orihime I forgot something, see you later,' replied Ichigo as he sped away to Urahara's shop.

_RUKIA_

She glanced up at the clock again, then at the door and then at his empty desk.

'Where was he, he usually never late, besides he left before me,' she thought clicking her pen impatiently against the top of her desk.

Click click click…[pause] click.

'Not that I care in the least where he is. He could be face down in the river for all I care,' she added quickly dropping her pencil on her desk.

She stole a glance at Orihime noticing she was also glancing nervously at the door and then at Ichigo's empty desk. She was beyond tired. It had taken all of her willpower and a donut to pull herself out of bed that morning. She thought about the incident with Ichigo in the washroom and blushed.

'His hands were so gentle,' she thought wistfully, feeling her face burning with embarrassment and something she couldn't quite identify. She had needed to go out that night and hunt to take the edge off. This week had been a particularly bad one for run-ins with Ichigo and they had taken their toll. She was frustrated and needed an outlet, but then Ichigo's had dashed her plans, he had caught her.

'Why didn't he say anything? He knows what I'm doing, right?' She thought the questions beginning to cloud her mind.

'Even as things are now he would have confronted me or had one of the others confront me,' Rukia could feel the pressure in her chest building as if her heart already knew what conclusion her mind was about to come to.

'He really doesn't care what happens to me.' Her heart thundered in her ears as the world around her faded away. All this time a part of her always believed a small part of Ichigo was still her friend and companion. That he still cared.

'He wrapped my arm out of obligation. We are still technically partners and it would have looked bad if I started getting mysteriously injured. The rest was, what was that word the P.E. teacher used last class, hormones.' She thought feeling humiliated at the realization.

'He was a boy and she had been half naked.'

She glanced over at his empty chair feeling her need to scream at him return with a vengeance. Deciding her current train of thought was leading her nowhere good she took a few calming breathes before glancing up at the teacher for the first time since class started. Letting her gaze wander around the class she noted with growing irritation that Orihime was not paying attention but instead still stared nervously at the door.

'Maybe she knows where that stupid cretin is,' she wondered idly as she continued to watch her auburn haired friend fidget in her seat.

Had Rukia never been assigned duty on the human world none of them would ever have known one another. As a human Rukia had met so many people she would never have had the chance to get to know. Now she couldn't imagine her life without them.

'Well most of them,' she thought wickedly as the bell rang signalling the end of her first class.

Standing she shoved her books carelessly into her bad and made a beeline towards Orihime. Waiting until Orihime put the last of her books into her bag; Rukia grabbed her arm and pulled the other girl roughly towards the door.

'R-Rukia, what's going on, where are we ouch, going ouch,' yelped Orihime breathlessly as Rukia dragged her outside to a quiet corner of the yard.

'Okay where is he,' barked Rukia dropping Orihime's arm.

'R-Rukia?' Squeaked Orihime trying to rub feeling back into her abused limb.

'You know something don't you Orihime!'


	5. Chapter 5

_Hey all thanks to those who reviewed. I will continue on to the next chapter shortly._

_~ Pixiewolf_

_CHAPTER 5_

_ICHIGO_

Ichigo paced the length of the small unlit room impatiently. He looked down at his watch again and sucked in his breath.

He was late. Really late.

He kept replaying the image of Rukia's bandaged arm through his head.

'It's one thing for her to get stronger; it's another thing for her to be stupid about it.'

He felt the pressure in his chest again and stopped pacing.

'I did this; I forced her to fight alone. We used to be a team. I'm the one who has this monster inside. But this isn't the way you do it Rukia, this is too dangerous, and yes I know I'm not supposed to help you anymore but I- Wait what why am I talking to myself, where the hell is that freeloader?' He muttered angrily under his breath just as the door opened and Renji walked in.

'Urahara said you were looking for me,' stated Abarai Renji matter-of-factly as he walked into the small room closing the door behind him.

Giving the room a cursory glance Ichigo stepped forward,

'I need your help with something important. It has to do with Rukia,' stated Ichigo trying to keep his voice low.

Renji's face took on an even more serious expression as he bent his head nearer to Ichigo's,

'What is it, is she in some sort trouble.' Ichigo's brow creased in frustration, he still hadn't worked out all of the details on how he would tell Renji about Rukia's dangerous behaviour without sending the man into a violent fury.

'I guess I will have to make it up as I go,' thought Ichigo grimly. He set himself to the task, making sure to keep it as short and sweet as possible.

'I'm worried that Rukia's captain has her working on something alone and in secret, which has her getting herself injured. I can't get involved, not that she would tell me, you know Rukia,' stated Ichigo lamely, glad that the darkened room hid his face.

Crossing his arms in front of himself Renji stood in silence for a few moments before answering Ichigo,

'Alright, I see what you mean, this is a difficult situation. It would not be proper to go to her captain and since you can't follow her around without her noticing you, you made the right choice Ichigo,' replied Renji after a few moments.

Ichigo let out the breath he hadn't realized he had been holding and grinned at Renji.

'I think you should follow her, she's been sneaking out at night. I am usually with her during the day so whatever she's been doing on the side for her captain it's at night. I don't have to tell you to be careful Renji, make damn sure she doesn't know your following her around.'

Grinning Renji uncrossed his arms and patted Ichigo on the back,

'Don't worry I won't let her know I'm around, besides I know what she'd do to me if she found out I was spying on her.'

Laughing, Ichigo left Urahara's shop and headed towards the school. He felt as though part of the guilt he had been carrying around over the last few months was made lighter by this decision. Renji was the best person for the job, of all his friends he trusted Renji more than anyone to keep Rukia safe. Rukia will need as many allies as she can get for the coming battle.

_RUKIA_

Rukia shivered as she led Orihime from the school, a feeling of unease entering her consciousness. Pushing the thought aside Rukia pulled Orihime around the corner, to a secluded place on the school grounds, away from prying eyes. She let go of Orhime's arm and swung around to face the flustered girl pinning her with her best Kuchiki stare.

"Orihime!"

"Y-yes, Rukia," yelped Orihime in response.

"Do you where Ichigo is?" Orihime fairly squirmed under Rukia's intense gaze. Rukia noticed her friends' discomfiture and relaxed, this was no way to treat a friend. She forced herself to relax further and smile at Orihime.

"I'm just worried is all, it's not like Ichigo to skip out on school," exclaimed Rukia matter-of-factly.

Orihime nodded her head and pursed her lips as she considered the situation.

"Rukia, I am worried about Ichigo too. And lately it's like he's been preoccupied. But Rukia so have you."

Rukia stepped back, shocked by her friends' sudden declaration.

"I haven't-," Rukia let the words die on her lips when she saw Orihime's expression. Rukia wished desperately to tell her friend all that had happened between her and Ichigo over the past few months.

"Maybe she could help. Maybe-," Rukia took one look at her friends' earnest expression and the thought was replaced by soul society training. She was shinigami, and shinigami don't share their hurt feelings, hell they aren't bogged down by unnecessary feelings. She let her resolve harden against the emotions that threatened to drown her in despair.

"Oh you know a lot soul society stuff to deal with lately. I haven't had much time to myself lately." Rukia prayed desperately that her lie had been a convincing one. A thought crossed her mind as she saw a look of relief cross Orihime's face,

"Lying, another thing I can thank Ichigo for."


	6. Chapter 6

CHAPTER 6

ICHIGO

It had been three weeks since Ichigo had made arrangements with Renji to follow Rukia on her clandestine evening outings. Ichigo stole a glance in his direction from his vantage point in the sky. Not only was Renji following Rukia around at night but he would be there whenever they were alerted to Hollow. Of course it was completely normal for Renji to be around, for all anybody knew he was on orders from Byakuya, and Rukia wouldn't question the orders of her brother.

'But why does it bother me so much?' He thought to himself as he watched Rukia and Renji chatting happily with one another. Envy followed by jealousy and then guilt twisted at his insides. He tried to ignore them. He had no right to feel jealous he wanted to tear the feelings out of himself and fling them as far from him as possible.

Tearing his gaze from them he moved further away hoping to sense a Hollow, something to focus he mind on.

Something other than Rukia and Renji.

'She's better off without you, murderer,' mocked the Hollow part of his soul as it slithered through his mind.

Either it was getting stronger, or he was getting weaker as it hammered against his defences, it wanted him to kill Renji, and he could feel its need to feel his sword pierce his flesh. It fed off his feelings of envy and jealousy, augmenting them, twisting them into something all together sinister and dangerous. He could feel his own heart racing at the prospect of hunting and killing the other man, making him suffer as he ripped him apart piece by bloody piece.

His fingers wrapped slowly around his sword, he could feel the wrappings falling away as he eyed his prey. He could feel his own anticipation rising threatening to consume him if he did not act. Blood pounded in his ears, as his vision was shrouded in a blood red haze. Desire flooded through him in great waves, crashing against his carefully built walls. It was strong, too strong; he felt the tight grip he kept on his control slipping.

'Yesss! Yesss! Do it! Kill him, he is weak.' The voice taunted him, eased away some of his inner defences.

The changes started slowly, he could feel his body fill with power, first the mask then other parts of his body; he was slowly turning into a Hollow. He felt his sword, the weight of it felt perfect in his hand it always had. But it felt different now, not wrong but somehow not right. He looked down and watched as his hands finished changing. Unfamiliar claws now held the hilt of his sword.

He felt the brick wall of reality slam into him. Suppressing the urge to be sick he leapt away from Rukia and Renji tearing off his mask and feeling the rest of his transformation fall away.

'I will fight you,' he shouted when he was out of earshot. 'You cannot beat me I won't lose control.' He waited for a response but all he heard was the sound of his own panicked breaths. He looked to the direction he had come from to make sure no one was following him. He had been lucky no one had been paying attention to him.

'Too close,' he thought as exhaustion over took him. He needed to be alone. Never before had the hollow part of him reacted like that. He needed to be far away from Rukia and Renji.

'I have to continue with my original plan. Renji is obviously the best choice for this job. I can't be around her anymore if I'm going to lose control like this. So I hope Renji is as really up to the task as he says he is,' thought Ichigo as he headed towards his house.

He would send a text to explain he had other obligations so no one wondered where he had gone and then he would spend the rest of the night relaxing. He needed to make sure he wasn't going to have another outburst, at least not with Renji's visit later that evening. He could feel the familiar twang of jealousy as he thought of Renji getting to spend time more with Rukia. Pushing the thought away, Ichigo ran a hand through his hair.

'Oh man, it's going to be a long night.'

_RUKIA_

Rukia scanned the area around her as she walked companionably beside Renji. She was enjoying herself, it felt like it had been forever since she last relaxed and had a good laugh. Renji had always had that effect on her and she was glad he was around. The last three weeks had been a godsend, Ichigo had all but disappeared from her life and she was finding herself spending less time thinking about him at least when Renji was around. Rukia watched Renji out of the corner of her eye quietly searching the area for any hollows that they may have missed.

"This is how shinigami are supposed to act," thought Rukia as she observed her friend. Now that her friend was around she had begun to notice her own non shinigami habits more and more and it had unsettled her. Shinigami were supposed to be strong, fearless, and above all else, unencumbered by human emotion. She very much doubted that Renji or any other shinigami ever let themselves become..

"RUKIA! RUKIA! Hey can you hear me? RUKIA!"

The sound of Renji's voice jolted her back to reality and the realization that she had once again let her mind wander in a very human way.

"Rukia what's going on with you? Did you sense something?" Asked Renji peering at his friend, worry written all over his features.

Rukia turned her head away from her friend, embarrassed by her lack of decorum,

"No I didn't sense anything."

"Well then I think we should call it a night then. I mean Ichigo and the rest have already left and if you..."

Rukia's head whipped around so that she was once again facing Renji.

"What do you mean he—they left? Rukia inquired struggling to keep the anger from her voice. She let herself reach out for his reitsu now noticing Ichigo's spiritual energy missing. A curious feeling washed over Rukia. She had been expecting anger, maybe even indifference but not loss. He stomach churned as she was suddenly overwhelmed with the realization that his quiet departure had hurt her.

"He's probably slacking off again," muttered Rukia under her breath.

"What was that?" Renji asked as he looked around a corner.

"Nothing- hey Renji how much longer do you think you will be staying for?"

_ICHIGO_

It was late and Ichigo was leaning back in his desk chair as he listened to the account of the red haired man who was presently leaning through Ichigo's bedroom window sharing details of Rukia's latest activity. This had become a common occurrence, hollow patrol followed by late night briefings on Rukia's late late previous night lone patrolling.

At first Ichigo had been sure Renji would begin to get suspicious about Ichigo's reasons for wanting Rukia followed but as time passed and Renji continued with his 'mission' Ichigo began to relax. Renji didn't seem to question Ichigo's sudden interest in Rukia's supposedly 'dangerous' mission. Everything had been going well, better then could be expected. Renji's presence had even allowed for Ichigo to further separate himself from Rukia's life.

At the thought of Rukia, a sudden flash of Rukia standing in front of him half dressed invaded Ichigo's mind awaking his body with painful alacrity.

"Three weeks since I saw Rukia's," Ichigo's mind grasped for the appropriate descriptive word "figure," his mind settled briefly on the appealing memory of Rukia three weeks earlier in a state of undress.

Catching himself before he could continue his train of thought into dangerous territory he refocused his attention on Renji.

'Those four hollows last night didn't know what hit them. Rukia didn't even give 'em time to think let alone act,' stated Renji, pride evident on his face. As much as Ichigo had confidence in Renji's judgement in a battle situation he was less inclined to trust his analysis of anything having to do with Rukia.

Something in that realization bothered him. Pushing the troubling thoughts aside for the time being, Ichigo stood up and started to pace the room.

'And your sure she didn't see you or sense you?' questioned Ichigo placing emphasis on the latter part of his statement.

'Yah I'm sure trust me. I mean if she had seen me she probably would have beaten the crap out of me, and believe me the way she's been fighting lately I can believe she could do it to,' responded Renji with his trademark smirk.

Ichigo suppressed a grin at the pleasing news, and the image of Rukia beating up Renji, focusing instead on the problem Renji had raised earlier in the evening.

'Four hollows, she's getting more reckless,' thought Ichigo as Renji waited patiently at the window.

"Do you think she will go out again tonight even after the successful hunt we all had today?" Asked Ichigo.

"It's hard to say, really. Lately it seems like her captain has her going out every night," replied Renji as he counted off dates in his head.

Ichigo inadvertently winced at the mention of Rukia's captain. He didn't like lying to Renji but in his mind it was the only way he could think of to protect Rukia. Ichigo shuttered at the thought about what would happen, to him if her captain found out about his lie, or worse, Rukia.

'Renji I think the system works. I trust you to use your judgement,' stated Ichigo trying to compose himself again. He would have to file away the information on the increased number of hollow attacks for another time and maybe a chat with Uruhara or Yorichi.

Grinning Renji leapt from the window and disappeared into the night.

Ichigo continued to pace the room deep in thought; he wasn't used to this kind of thing. Protecting someone without protecting them. It confused even him and he was the one who came up with the idea. A small part of him continued to despise Renji. Even though it had been his idea to have Renji follow Rukia, and logically Renji was the best choice out of all his friends. But that small part of him burned every time he thought of Renji watching her. He shook his head irritably, trying to clear the absurd thought from his mind.

Glancing across the room at his clock he noted the time,

'She'll be home in about an hour,' he thought,

'Good luck Renji.'


	7. Chapter 7

Please start reviewing! I like the encouragement it keeps me from getting writers block

~ Pixiewolf

**CHAPTER 7**

_RUKIA_

Rukia couldn't help but be a bad mood as she stalked impatiently around her room. She glanced over at the clock on her night stand and grimaced at the glowing numbers,

'12:13.' She thought to herself as her gaze rested unconsciously on the open window.

'I can't I went out last night, I need to rest tonight.' At that moment she felt the phone in her pocket vibrate; flipping it open she saw the telltale sign of a hollow on the prowl. Flipping the phone closed she pulled out her chappy modified soul dispenser, hesitating she glanced at her bedroom door wondering briefly if she should wake Ichigo. A small part of her wanted to go to him and ask for his help, wanted desperately to go back to the way things had been, before.

She popped the modified soul into her mouth.

"I don't need him," whispered Rukia to no one.

"It is my duty to protect the town," she thought as she inspected herself in shinigami form. Locking her bedroom door she returned to the window and leapt out into the warm evening sky.

Checking to make sure her zanpakuto cleared its sheath; Rukia breathed deeply letting the warm night time air flow into her. She felt more relaxed, feeling all the tension from the day seep from her body. The battles earlier that day had been easy and unfulfilling. It was at night, alone that she felt stronger and more confident than ever in her skills as a shinigami. Even her captain had commented on some of the changes in her that last time she had gone to see him. Ukitake had also commented on the increased amount of time she was spending at Serentai as opposed to Karakura Town with Ichigo. Rukia had explained that things were quite for the most part and she wanted to spend time training with her squad. It had been a lie but the fact that her captain noticed had unsettled her. Had she been spending so little time in Serentai?

'A bad lie,' she thought as she idly scanned the area for hollow reitsu.

She could tell he didn't believe her from the moment the words were out of her mouth but the truth had somehow seemed harder. So she had lied.

Trying to clear her mind she switched directions abruptly deciding it was time to call it a night. Unexpectedly she felt the hairs on the back of her neck prickle.

She stopped and began scanning the area in earnest only to feel nothing out of the ordinary. Whatever it was she only ever felt the barest glimpse of it before it disappeared. It had felt as though someone had been following her whenever she went out at night. She knew that it was all in her head of course. And her scans of the area around her usually confirmed that her feeling of being watched was all in her head. She imagined tonight would be no different but it paid to be thorough. Setting her mind to the task she scanned the area one more time, this time putting more effort into it. She could feel a faint presence off to her right.

'Very small, and close,' she thought alarmed, 'I'm practically on top of it.'

A few moments later she dropped to the ground and searched the area. It was an empty lot for the most part with an alley off to the side. The area was largely unlit, populated by a smattering of weeds and littered with garbage. She could see no sign of the hollow but the reitsu was close. As she walked out into the open area the small hairs on the back of her neck stood on end. She was sure now more than ever that there was something dangerous here. Unsheathing her zanpakuto she stalked slowly towards the far left corner of the lot, where the reitsu was the strongest and waited.

'It's here I can feel it, why can't I see it?' She thought trying to focus her mind in an attempt to locate exactly where the hollow was. After a few moments movement caught her eye. She braced herself as the hollow came right for her screaming. It was something out of a nightmare, a crow shaped creature with hundreds of long pointed teeth, wings black as night and long angry talons. It attacked suddenly its impressive speed knocking Rukia back a few steps.

Regaining her composure she attacked using her kido to trap it. It dogged her attack and swooped at her again. Rukia managed to dodge it feeling the burn of its talons as they slashed through the skin of her arm. She ignored the pain and blood, and continued to defend against the creature wounding it several times in the process. The creature now circled Rukia, gashes visible all over its body dripping with black blood. It screamed a terrible scream that made Rukia's ears ring with pain and her vision fog over. Rukia tried to shield herself but the creatures' scream had made it nearly impossible to think. She tried to refocus on the creature, to defend against its attacks but it was moving too fast.

'Concentrate! Its only one hollow,' thought Rukia finally clearing the fog from her vision. It charged her again she waited a moment and then swung slicing it in two. Its scream was cut short as it disintegrated. She breathed out a sigh of relief and scanned the area thoroughly, looking for another creature that might have been trying to mask its reitsu. She felt the smallest flicker of something for an instant before disappearing. Deciding it was probably nothing she breathed out a sigh of relief before sheathing her zanpakuto for the second time that evening.

'Time to head home.'

As Rukia crawled through the open window of her room she glanced at the clock and cringed as she read the glowing numbers,

'2:00am,'she sighed in disbelief. Putting her pyjamas on, she crawled slowly into bed and pulled her covers up to her chin and closed her eyes. Mornings were usually fine but when you get in at 2am they become, she searched her mind for the proper word.

'Problematic. I think I'm going to skip school today."

An image of her brother popped suddenly into her head, she could almost hear his lecture on her slothful behaviour.

Grumbling Rukia opened her eyes and stared at the clock once again in disbelief. The numbers now read 7:30am.

"How is that even possible," muttered Rukia as she pushed the covers back and wearily started her day.

Despite her late night outing her nerves were still on edge. Looking over at the clock she grumbled she just couldn't handle Ichigo's silence or his family and their endless questions. Ever since he had caught her re-bandaging her wounds that night she had taken extra care when going out at night and in locking the door to her room. Deciding she needed to be with other shinigami she snuck quietly out of her room and hurried towards Urahara's shop.

'Going through Urahara's new inventory will calm me,' she thought as she picked up her pace.

'Plus I think Renji's supposed been hanging around lately for a while longer.'

Since Renji had started coming out with the group to fight hollows she had started seeing a lot more of him. She felt it to be a great relief to have her old friend around.

Minutes later she stepped lightly through the front door of the shop and scanned the empty room in front of her.

'Hello,' she called out hoping someone was around.

'Greetings Rukia, what brings you here so early in the morning,' came the smooth even voice of Urahara. She turned to face the forever grinning Urahara. To her he always seemed to just slide out from the shadows.

"Do you have any new Chappy products? Oh and have you seen Renji around anywhere, he said he would be staying here while on assignment."

'That stupid freeloader is still sleeping,' exclaimed Jinta from the doorway of the shop. Rukia turned her head in his direction and frowned,

"that's odd, he's never been one to sleep in." Jinta, now visibly irritated marched the short distance to where Rukia was standing and glared up at her his short figure seething with indignation.

'Well maybe if he didn't sneak in at 2 in the morning he would be awake now to do his share of the work! I can't believe you let him get away with it too,' shouted the small, red-haired boy pointing an accusing finger at Urahara.

Rukia stole a glance over at Urahara, he just shrugged his shoulders and went back to pulling new inventory out of boxes that Rukia only just now noticed.

Jinta sensing he was now being ignored gave Urahara a dirty look before stomping angrily outside,

"stupid shinigami freeloaders, coming in at all hours waking everyone up, if I-."

"Jinta," cut in Urahara before the boy could finish the rest of his sentence. Rukia turned back to look at Uruhara,

"is what Jinta said true? What duties could Renji possibly have so late at night?" Asked Rukia placing one hand on her chin.

"If you really want to know what he has been assigned to do I'm certainly not the person to ask," stated Urahara matter-of-factly.

'I am but a humble shop keeper,' he added with a bow.

'We both know that's not true. But I imagine you do know something, you always know what's going on.' Still grinning Urahara continued to straighten the already immaculate shelves,

'If you don't want to ask around Serentai than why don't you ask Ichigo, he and Renji have been spending an awful lot of time together.' Hiding her grimace behind her hand Rukia watched the man standing across from her.

'Getting a straight answer from Urahara is like nailing jelly to the wall. And I can forget about having a conversation with Ichigo, ever since the incident he won't even look at me let alone talk to me,' thought Rukia pessimistically.

Rukia let her train of thought end to allow her full attention to be focused on Urahara. She knew he wasn't going to tell her anything more than he already had. This morning all she had wanted to do was to talk to her friend Renji but instead she now had a mystery. She hated mysteries.

'Well it's really not that important I just wanted to speak with Renji about something and since he's not available I guess I will go,' stated Rukia trying to conceal her annoyance.

Not bothering to wait for a response from Urahara, Rukia left the shop and headed down the street towards the school.

'Why does this bother me so much,' she thought trying to work out the many emotions she fought to conceal from bubbling to the surface. Every bone in her body told her something was up but without proof she would just have to wait it out.

'Talking to Ichigo is impossible. Also asking questions around Serentai will get me nowhere; I'm not in his squad and therefore have no reason to need to know what he's doing.'

She had no illusions as to the kind of trouble she could get into just by asking the wrong questions.

'No, there's nothing to be done but wait and see. Besides it's probably nothing.' As much as it pained her to do it, Rukia put Renji's uncharacteristic slothful actions out of her mind and focused instead on the day ahead.


	8. Chapter 8

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you for all of you who read and reviewed. I love reviews; I can't wait to read them. Please continue reading and reviewing I promise awesomeness!

Just to let you all know I will be changing the rating of my story after this chapter to accommodate the many upcoming lemons. I hope this won't be an issue for anyone...I'm just bored with keeping it so clean Don't worry I will re-categorize the story with an M rating when the time comes just wanted to give fair warning.

~Pixiewolf

**CHAPTER 8**

_ICHIGO_

Ichigo waited on the grounds of the school far enough away from the windows not to be noticed by any curious window gazing students, sipping a drink thoughtfully. He liked the peace and quiet that this place seemed to offer. After a few peaceful moments he spotted a lone figure running towards him at a distance. He glanced around hurriedly making sure he was still alone. Moments later a dishevelled looking Renji stopped in front of him slightly out of breath,

'Hey Ichigo, long time no see,' yawned the red haired man as he closed the short distance between them.

'He must've just gotten up,' thought Ichigo trying and failing to keep concern for Rukia and her sleeping habits from creeping their way into his thoughts.

Ichigo gave the area one more sweeping glance since he knew that meeting Renji at school was dangerous even if he didn't have a choice. Besides, Renji had said it was urgent that they meet that morning. Urahara's shop nor his house offered much in the way of privacy during the day plus with increased number of hollow activity there weren't many opportunities where he was alone. He was impatient to get this meeting over with. Class had started so he was unlikely to be seen but he still didn't want to get caught by any of his friends and be forced to explain why Renji was there.

'Renji we need to make this quick. If Rukia sees you-'

'Oh no problem, I have been spending loads of time with Rukia, actually she's expecting me after school,' exclaimed Renji nonchalantly before Ichigo could finish.

Ichigo relaxed a little trying to ignore the fact that Renji's relationship had become much closer in the past few weeks. He put the unpleasant images conjured forth from Renji's statement from his mind and continued on. He couldn't allow himself to lose control again.

'So I gather everything has been going well?' Asked Ichigo, trying to keep the bitterness out of his voice. Renji remained oblivious to Ichigo's growing frustration and continued into his version of the previous nights' events.

'Sure, Rukia went out again last night and I thought I might have had to step in but at the last minute she beat the Hollow.' Ichigo caught his breath at Renji account of Rukia's dangerous encounter.

'I mean I didn't even feel it and she was after it so fast. For a moment I thought I had messed up and she sensed me, so I took off hoping to get far enough away that she would lose my trail but when I turned around and searched the area but she was nowhere near me. That's when I sensed the Hollow. It had been heading in the direction I had come from, towards Rukia. I don't think it noticed me so I got the jump on it, oh and don't worry I was careful, besides when I back tracked to find Rukia that's when I found her fighting in the empty lot with the same type of Hollow. It looked more powerful than the one I found and it sure was giving Rukia a hard time. It was small but fast. Faster than any hollow I have ever seen. I almost rushed in to help, but at the last moment she killed it.' Renji lowered his voice at the end of his story,

'I'm glad I was there Ichigo, if that other Hollow had made it to her I'm not sure she could've dealt with 'em both by herself. I mean I barely noticed the other one, and well,' he let the rest of the sentence drop. Ichigo was glad to finish this conversation, the idea of a second close call in less than a month had him on edge. He felt a dark foreboding feeling wash over him, like he was missing some important pieces of the puzzle when he had only started to piece together the outside. Renji gave him an appraising look,

'Yah I thought so too. Something's seriously wrong. There have been way too many attacks lately and there different somehow."

'Yah I noticed too. Are you still okay with keeping an eye on her? You look tired,' asked Ichigo his voice grave. Renji's smile faded his features becoming more serious,

'Like I tell you every time, I will keep her safe while she goes out on these night-time whatever this is.' He leaned closer lowering his voice forcing Ichigo to strain to hear him,

'You know I can maybe talk to her Captain about getting her some backup or at least have us accompany her. He should be concerned by now considering all of her reports she must be making to him about these strange hollow attacks. And you know since he's the one that has her going out like this.'

Ichigo froze,

'He couldn't tell Renji that Rukia had most likely gone off the deep end and was actually going out alone because of what he said to her. Besides forgetting the fact that the soul society frowned on this sort of thing and that he thought this was quite possibly the most dangerous thing she had ever gotten herself into, there was a small part of him was proud of her. She was getting stronger; he had already done so much to her he would not be the one to take this away from her.' He looked at Renji determined to make sure Rukia's secret was safe even if that meant going to Urahara about the hollow attacks rather than the soul society.

'You know better than I that it is unwise to get involved in another squads' business.' Ichigo could tell right away that he had picked right in choosing Renji to follow Rukia. He would never risk their friendship or her reputation as anything but exemplary shinigami. A small pang of guilt made itself known as Ichigo watched Renji struggle with his loyalty to his friend and his fear for her well being.

Lucky for him Renji's loyalty won.

This time.

_RUKIA_

Rukia walked briskly towards the school, glancing down at the clock in her phone and groaning, 'First bell was 10 minutes ago.'

Even though the human school had no bearing on her soul reaper duties she still felt obliged to be on time and have all of her homework finished. Involuntarily she remembered something Ichigo had told her about why she needed to continue to go to school with them,

'You know Rukia school will help you better understand the humans you shinigami fight so hard to protect. Besides you could use a few more lessons on acting like a human, you suck somethin' awful at it.'

She had remembered vividly that her reaction had been one of embarrassment. It had been only a week after she had met Ichigo and the others, so her awkwardness in social situations had been mocked relentlessly by Ichigo. But in the end it had been that moment when she felt the gap between herself and the human world somehow become much smaller and it had made her happy. Her heart fluttered with pleasure at the fond memory. Groaning at her mental slip Rukia sped up her pace until she was jogging briskly towards the school, which she could now see in the distance.

5 minutes later she neared the front gate, slowing her pace as she walked through. Relieved to find no teachers or students lurking around she began walking in the direction of the front doors when she noticed the striking red hair of one Abarai Renji half concealed behind a bush.

'What's he doing here how, I thought we arranged to meet me later after class,' she thought back to her conversation with him the day before.

'He must've made a mistake; I had better go and tell him to meet me later. He's not the kind of person who messes up meetings like this. Maybe I should ask him why he's been out so late at night.' As she began walking towards him, she carefully picked her way around several large plants.

'What an odd place to wait for me. If it hadn't been for the hair I would never have seen him,' she joked to herself as she neared him.

Her amusement at her friends' strange actions died the moment she saw Him.

'Ichigo!' His name was out of her mouth before she could stop it. Realizing her mistake she darted around the corner pressing herself as close to the wall as possible. She didn't know why she hid from them, she could have greeted them but it had been a gut reaction.

'Why am I hiding? Renji is my friend, and Ichigo is-,' her train of thought was mercifully cut short when she heard their voices.

It had been so long since she heard the sound of Ichigo's voice that she almost missed their words. They were speaking so low; it was difficult to make out most of what they had to say,

_Sure, Rukia went out again last night and I thought I might have had to step in but at the last minute she beat the Hollow- _

That's Renji why is he talking about me to Ichigo?' She strained to hear more but their conversation was muted,

_For a moment I thought I had messed up and she sensed me-_

_Oh and don't worry I was careful...I almost rushed in to help-_

_Are you still okay with keeping an eye on her?- _

Rukia could hear no more of their conversation she didn't think she could have handled anymore anyways. The thought that she was being spied on for who knows how long, like some sort of child, had almost been enough to send her out into the open. He rage had frozen her to the spot so she stood and waited until long after both Ichigo and Renji had gone their separate ways. She stood and she thought about the conversation she had overheard and one thing was for sure.

She hated Ichigo.

Mercifully the rest of the day had come and gone and Rukia paced her room like a jungle predator ready for a fight. She had never once considered her friends would stoop to spying no matter the reason. She shivered at the thought of her privacy being violated. Above all it disturbed her to know she had not once sensed it. How long had this been going on? She agonized over the question as she searched her mind for clues of these intrusions. Then a realization hit her.

"They really do think I'm weak. Both of them."

Ignoring logic and common sense, Rukia's mind latched onto this idea, fully convinced that this was the true reason for Ichigo and Renji's spying.

"What else could it be?"

A small part of her frenzied mind screamed out its protest to her conclusion,

"They care about you, you have been reckless."

Rukia shoved the thought aside almost immediately, telling herself that shinigami routinely fight stronger hollows with no problem, she is only performing her duty. Rukia unprepared and unfamiliar with the emotions of betrayal and rage felt herself being swallowed by despair.

She wanted nothing more to go talk to her friends, but she couldn't, she wanted to fight hollows with her friends, but she couldn't, she want to go back to when everything made sense, but she couldn't, she didn't want to feel...

Rukia's head snapped to her open window and the setting sun. She may not have much control over anything but she could fight. She could fight until she forgot. She could fight until she was no longer weak.

She went to get her chappy dispenser, switching into her other form with long practiced ease. She walked to the open window and, focusing all of her energy and concentrating on sensing the locations of Ichigo and Renji. Now that she knew who to look for, she had a better chance of sensing them out of the millions of other souls. It only took a fraction of a second to recognize the overpowering essence of Ichigo. His energy invaded her consciousness; before she could shut it out she felt an all too familiar warmth flood through her body. Her body reacted willing and ready to do whatever he required.

Whatever he required.

She began wondering about the softness of his lips, the smoothness of his skin. And she remembered the incident in the washroom, when he'd been trying to help her – for her own good. Except now, she almost wished he wasn't just trying to be nice.

With a sinking feeling Rukia snapped out of her daze. 

"But of course, that's all it was. He was being nice."

She felt herself flush red and regaining herself, pushing against Ichigo's energy with alacrity.

Satisfied that Ichigo was nowhere near her, nor could he spy on her, Rukia took a few breathes to centre herself before attempting to locate Renji. Where Ichigo's energy had been overpowering and aggressive, drawing her in, consuming her, Renji's was subtle, only lightly flitting across her consciousness. Rukia knew Renji had been trained to mask his energy but he was not anticipating someone actively looking for him. It took a great deal more effort on Rukia's part until she was satisfied Renji was not in the area.

Satisfied with her efforts, Rukia took to the sky just as the last of the sun's rays dipped below the horizon.

_ICHIGO_

Ichigo walked slowly home from Urahara's shop. It was late and he hated getting home after dark. He looked at his watched and groaned. It was well past supper time and he was starving. It had been a strange day all around plus he now had a strange unexplained foreboding feeling. He wondered mildly if Rukia was at home and then hurriedly dismissed the thought when he recalled how strange she had been acting earlier that day. It was becoming harder and harder for him to stay connected to Rukia, they were almost strangers now. A small part of him cried out at the loss of his best friend. Despite that small part of him he felt relief that his plan was working, Rukia was growing stronger, if not more risky. He was confident that when the time came for her to make a difficult choice she would be ready. Like on that night when she had made him a shinigami, no hesitation. She merely did what needed to be done to save lives. But that had been a life time ago, they had been but strangers, and she. His thought trailed off as he attempted to avoid the unasked question.

"What had she been? A strong, intelligent, independent women? No. She was still all of these things and more. Then what? What has changed since then?" Asked Ichigo, as if posing his question to the universe.

The question hung in the air unanswered like a dead thing.

Ichigo forced himself to move on, to shove the questions away and to forget about the past and the way things were before.

He glanced again at the lowering sun and then in the direction of his house. Sighing he walked up to the front door and let himself silently thanking the gods for his absent family. The moment he opened the door to his room he felt the urge to leave. It came on suddenly and with intensity he couldn't explain. Grabbing Kyon, Ichigo slipped into his shinigami form, and without any thought or plan he slipped out into the waiting night. Ichigo, hovering in mid air, closed his eyes and drew in a deep breath, letting the day's tensions flow from him. He let himself feel the presences of those around him and without thought he let himself move in the direction his body decided to take.

He had just felt like moving. He had no particular destination in mind; it was only that he wasn't standing still that mattered. He just let himself wander, his mind wander and let his control slip.

Just a little.

It hit him hard and fast. A hollow was close by and it was a strong one. He had never been very good at sensing reitsu but even he could sense the unmistakeable prescience of this beast filling the area with its raw energy. He wondered if he should call the other's for backup briefly before he was overcome by a second, equally as powerful reitsu. Any thought of getting back up flew out of Ichigo's mind when he caught sight of the two enormous beasts.

"What the-?"

The larger of the two beasts spun to face a surprised Ichigo and attacked with a long curved talon. It was a crow shaped creature with hundreds of long pointed teeth, wings black as night. Ichigo dodged the attack easily unnerved that he had been caught off guard by a hollow. As the second creature turned its massive overpowered body around Ichigo seized the opening and attacked, dispatching the hollow. A spray of the creatures' foul blood sprayed the air as it let out a terrifying death scream. Ichigo covered his ears futility trying to block the horrible noise. Without warning the second creature attacked with such force it sent Ichigo into a nearby building.

Dazed, Ichigo struggled to his feet nursing a long ragged gash that ran from his shoulder to his navel. Ichigo held his sword out blinking rapidly trying desperately to clear the fog from his vision. The living creature let out a long bellow before charging Ichigo.

Ichigo stood completely still as he waited for the creature to get closer. He could hear as the huge thing lumbered towards him, its feet shaking the ground with every step, its heaving breaths souring the air.

He waited.

Without warning a blast of acrid warmth exploded across his face. He swung.

The beasts' horrible screams filled the air forcing Ichigo to his knees as the world spun around him. He felt the earth shudder under him as the hollow took its dying breath and fell to the ground.

Ichigo sat on the ground leaning on his sword trying to make sense of what just happened. As his vision began to clear, Ichigo began to get a sinking feeling. Something about all of this seemed horribly familiar. As he looked at the empty street before him he had the unsettling feeling that somehow Rukia was involved. As he stood he searched his brain trying to recall every hollow they had faced in the last few months. None of them even remotely matched the description of the two overpowered winged behemoths he had just fought.

Ichigo sheathed his sword, wincing as his wound send pain flashing down his torso. He inspected the wound carefully as he had been taught by his father. Once he determined it was suitably clean and surprisingly shallow, Ichigo let out a sigh of relief and relaxed a little. He still felt uneasy about the whole situation but nothing was going to be accomplished by him standing there. Deciding a walk to clear his head was in order, Ichigo made his way slowly home as the sun finally dipped below the horizon. An hour later he was home. At first Ichigo began heading around to the back of the house to where his window was. He stopped dead in his tracks and turned around when he remembered he had the whole house to himself. His sisters where both on an overnight school field trip that his father was chaperoning. Ichigo walked into the house and shut the door behind him a smile on his face. Switching bodies he went directly to the washroom where he dressed his shallow wound and cleaned himself up. Not bothering to button his shirt Ichigo walked out the washroom feeling better than he had in a long time. Stopping at the door to his room he glanced down the hall at the closed door to Rukia's room.

The two soft thumps of Rukia entering her room through the window, which normally would have gone unnoticed, sounded harsh in the otherwise silent house.

He froze.

That's when he remembered.

Who had seen those hollows before.


	9. Chapter 9

Ah I have just noticed my horrible tense mistakes. I am sorry about that. I will try to stick to only one from now on Also, if you have been reading you will note the change in rating from Teen to Mature. Trust me this chapter and especially later chapters will get VERY mature. I hope to see a few more reviews even if they are negative. I am starting to wonder if I should bother continuing.

**Pixiewolf**

**CHAPTER 9**

_RUKIA_

Rukia winced as she landed somewhat ungracefully on the carpeted floor of her room. She glanced at her clock and sighed with relief. It wasn't overly late so everyone was probably still downstairs watching television. As Rukia turned to close the window she sent one last burst of energy out into the night. Feeling nothing she closes the window with a long sigh resigning herself to the fact that the hollows had taken the night off. Which was great for humans but bad for the shinigami who need to work off some pent up energy. Switching into her human form, Rukia began pulling out her pyjamas with another long sigh.

Her bedroom door was opened with such force Rukia was startled into dropping her pyjamas. Ichigo stood in her doorway, the moonlight silhouetting his tall form. For a moment she forgot herself and stood staring at him from across the room. His school shirt was unbuttoned, left carelessly open to reveal his smooth well formed chest. When he didn't move any further into her room then the doorway Rukia took a small step forward. She could have sworn he had forgotten why he was there if it wasn't for the rage she saw on his face.

She could feel his barely restrained anger filling the air in the suddenly far too small room. The Ichigo she knew would never hurt her, but as she looked into the eyes of the Ichigo standing before her she wasn't sure he was the same person she knew. There was something different about him now, when he looked at her, and it wasn't at all friendly. She felt a chill run through her and something else.

He took a step forward into her room she could tell he was struggling with something. When he finally spoke, his tone was clipped and his voice low.

"Why didn't you tell someone about those strange hollows Rukia? You could have gotten me killed! Or yourself!"

His question had caught her off guard. It was a shock to hear his voice, she had rarely seen him over the last few months, let alone spoken to him in any capacity. She noted how he now looked at her with something akin to resentment.

She felt her own anger build at his accusatory tone and his judgement of her, her own thoughts shifting away from the shock of his arrival to her fateful discovery earlier that day.

"He doesn't have the right to judge me in anything. Someone who dirties themselves spying on friends doesn't deserve any explanations." Rukia straightened with new confidence ready to square off in a verbal duel to the death.

"What strange hollows? Ichigo." Replied Rukia placing a mocking emphasis on his name, her lips twisted in a sneer.

Again she noted his brief inward struggle. They had become more and more frequent. She shook the thought away deciding it was of no concern to her.

"Nevermind. I will deal with it myself." Ichigo said dropping his gaze and shaking his head.

The moment Ichigo turned to leave Rukia felt as if she was watching herself as if in a dream. There was no clarity of thought on her part only pure need.

She needed him to stay.

Her anger seemed to vanish the moment he turned his back to her and replaced by fear. A fear inside her that threatened to overwhelm the little control she had over her newly discovered human emotions. A loneliness so profound it touched her down to her core.

"Why does my heart hurt so much?" The question resounds through her mind as a small gasp escapes her lips.

She takes one step forward.

And then another.

She looks with wonder at the careless hand that is placed squarely on his shoulder just under the loose fabric of his shirt.

Her hand.

Stopping him.

The sudden warmth of his warm skin overpowered her, steeling away all sense of reason and replacing it with carnal need. He pauses, the tick of a clock somewhere in the house makes the silence that much more painful.

She feels the heat in her face rise as she begins to lift her hand from his shoulder.

Ichigo turns slowly to face her, his expression unfathomable. An eternity in an instant.

Rukia gasped her shock as Ichigo grasped the back of her head, bending her mouth to his. He kisses her greedily, hungrily, drinking in the taste of her, exploring her tongue, her mouth, her lips.

Salt and wet. There is no restraint in his actions as he holds her in place plundering her lips.

Ichigo pushes hard against Rukia's body making her feel through the friction of cloth between them, the hard ridge of flesh that is his arousal pressing against her belly. A surge of moisture gushes through her insides, her legs part slightly and one of his slips between them. His thigh presses hard against her sex and when she moans, she feels him harden even more.

When Ichigo pulls away from Rukia's lips, she feels the room spinning, wondering idly if he knows what power he wields in his kisses.

Deciding she is no longer content to wait, Rukia wraps a small shaking hand around his thick shaft, relishing in his groan of pleasure. Rukia watches with eager anticipation as his eyes darken with lust at the contact.

"On your knees." His voice is low and husky.

She feels her body respond to him in the most primal of ways, gracefully lowering herself to her knees in front of him. She had spent many nights dreaming about this very moment only to wake up unsatisfied.

She felt as if she was watching herself degrade herself to him from a distance. It seemed so unreal. Despite this there was no voice of reason, no anger only obedience.

She kept her head held up, her eyes never leaving his as she moved slowly up towards him. She stopped in front of his erect member letting his familiar tangy male sent enter her. A sense of bitterness shot through her suddenly.

"Why am I not ashamed? Why do I want this?"

She watched as Ichigo slid his shirt off his shoulders carelessly letting it fall to the floor.

"Why would I let him do this to me? Isn't sex supposed to be between two people who love each other? Ichigo doesn't love me. He's just using me to relieve his own stress. That's all. He doesn't love me."

Her eyes are still trained on his face as she kneels up in front of him.

She pauses.

Unable to see his eyes through the darkness of the room, she imagines his eyes are cold, maybe even lonely.

He was waiting for her to continue she knew.

Her body reacted to his need. She couldn't deny it. She had tried to forget him, tried to stop herself from thinking about his hands and lips and skin.

She couldn't deny that she dreamed about how far he'd take things. How much he'd require of her. And how far she would be willing to go to please him.

She knew he didn't love her he had told her as much when he ignored her or snapped at her or said she was weak.

So she would accept things as they were. He did not love her. But he wanted her. And she wanted him. She couldn't deny him anything. She loved him.

On her knees, undressing before him she couldn't help but let the shock of her confession to herself wash over her in bitter waves.

She wanted to feel that he wanted her even if it just for tonight.

_ICHGIO_

The moment he felt her feather-light touch on his bare shoulder had undone him. Just that briefest contact with her hot, silky skin had set sparks coursing through his every nerve. His burning desire for her, which he had been able to keep to a low simmer in the back of his mind, leaped to the fore again, bright and hot and insatiable. All of his were convictions suddenly forgotten.

Just that one touch and his need for her, the restless, unsettled itch that could only be satisfied by her, broke forth.

He couldn't help but marvel at her strength, and her beauty. When she had touched him in the most intimate of ways he couldn't help but respond. When she had dropped to her knees at his command he had almost fainted. There was no hesitation on her part, no judgement or anger.

This was his Rukia.

She was his, on her knees before him, undressing, unhesitant, at his feet, willing to do whatever he required.

Whatever he required.

Ever since he had first met Rukia he had been attracted to her, dreamed about her. Never once did he think any of his fantasies would happen. Not now.

When he first entered her room it was to confront her, hopefully without tipping his hand concerning her late night escapades. But the moment he had seen her standing at the window, dishevelled and tired, he only felt desire. It had overwhelmed him. He needed a release. He had tried to leave, tried to shut the image if her half naked form from his mind's eye but she had stopped him and something inside him broke.

He didn't really know what he had expected when he told her to get on her knees. It wasn't like he could say,

"I want to hold you and touch you so that I can stop waking up in the middle of the night every night with dreams that leave me unsatisfied and make me feel like I'm losing my sanity."

Nor was he willing to admit that every time he saw her with Renji he needed to go off by himself to kill something,

No, she'd asked nothing from him. She simply obeyed him.

And now she was sitting before him waiting for his next command.

Startled, his eyes had widened for a second, it was like she'd opened a floodgate of passion with her simple action. Instantly, he'd become so hard it was painful.

The way she sat, patiently waiting made it seem almost like she wanted to be there with him, that she wanted this too, in this way. Ichigo disregarded the thought as soon as it entered his mind,

"there is no way she wanted it to be like this."

But before he could stop himself he had reached down and brushed a strand of hair away from her face. The shocked look in her eyes at his unexpected tenderness brought him swiftly back to reality.

He knew he couldn't let himself slip again like before, it was just too much. But he just couldn't tear himself away from her. He had all ready taken it too far when they kissed.

He continued to stroke her face softly; a thought came unbidden to his lips,

"I want you to use your mouth."

There in Rukia's bedroom, the girl he couldn't stop thinking about had reached up, unbuttoned his pants and slide them carefully down his legs.

He could tell she was nervous, hell he was nervous. He wasn't really sure what to expect and he wondered briefly if he should have asked her to undress also, but the moment he felt her lithe fingers brush gently along the material covering his erect member the world fell away. Somehow if it was possible this touch was even more erotic then the first.

He moaned as her fingers slipped under the band of boxers, sliding them down carefully. She gasped, pausing at the sight of his hard phallus before reaching out a hesitant hand to touch. Ichigo's body vibrated as Rukia began touching, first with her hands and then slowly with her mouth and tongue. As he watched her small pink tongue come into contact with the head of his penis a shiver raced through his body, from the tips of his toes to the top of his head. He could feel that even after this short time he was almost at his limit. He could feel his orgasm building quickly and when he came, shuttering and breathless a few minutes later, neither he nor Rukia had been prepared, causing much of his seed to land on her shirt. Ichigo had never before experienced anything like what Rukia had done.

She too looked stunned by the experience but not in any way displeased. Her face was flushed pink and he could see her nipples hard against her shirt. He could smell her sex in the air, feeling her need as clearly as his own.

Reaching down he pulled her to her feet and picking her up carried her to her bed. Putting her down, he reached to her shirt and began unbuttoning her soiled blouse in earnest.

She was turned on and ready for him.

**Please remember to review!**


	10. Chapter 10

Hey all, I have really enjoyed all of the comments on the last chapter and will be crossing my fingers for more feedback after this one. I think the story is on its way to winding down shortly and hope to bring it to an end soon. Enjoy!

~Pixiewolf

CHAPTER 10

* * *

_RUKIA_

It had all happened so fast. She had known the moment he stepped into her bedroom that Ichigo was angry with her. Frankly she had been more and a little surprised to see him at all let alone this close to her. Suddenly she had felt her own anger flare to life both at his unwelcomed intrusion into her room and for his secret spying. She had never been one to become overly emotional but somehow he brought out the worst in her.

"And the best," she thought the words before she could stop them, mentally berating herself for the betrayal.

They seemed to be fighting a lot more lately. She might have even said Ichigo was somehow different, that this sort of thing was impossible for someone like him. And that he had changed in some intrinsic way she could not hope to understand. But who was she to judge what was or wasn't normal. Emotions were certainly a subject she had little experience with. Besides wasn't her being here, with him in this way going against her very nature. She turned the contradiction around in her mind as her heart thundered in her chest and his eyes bore straight to her soul.

Like she had a thousand times before, Rukia blocked the rest of the thoughts from her mind.

It was too hard, too painful and too confusing for her to face her own emotions.

So she remained silent. Silent to her grief. Silent to his pain.

And then something happened that she had never expected from him.

She closed her eyes, seeking to center herself. It is perplexing that she finds herself coming to trust him so, when it was not so long ago that he seemed to typify everything impetuous about humans. But now, he is complex, much more so than she first thought. And maybe, once upon a time this moment might have been different, but that had been a lifetime ago. A small part of her even begins to wish that they would be together, somehow more than just in this stolen moment of empty pleasure and unspoken words.

The thought is almost strong enough to bring her pause.

Almost.

She's spared more than moment of doubt as his sword callused hands grasp her shoulders pulling her to him, turning his head at such an angle to better claim her mouth with his own kiss. Rukia moans as he begins planting soft, tender kisses against the line of her jaw, tracing a torturous path down her neck, his hands pushing up against her breasts in an effort to possess her. She can feel his reitsu searing itself upon her psyche rendering her senses more and more unhinged. The voices of reason and good judgment have long since been silenced as all traces of doubt are erased from her mind by his kiss. Never in her wildest dreams could she imagine Ichigo and her together in this way. And as he sucked at Rukia's bottom lip, her body became restless. Her own hands run over his back, his hands playing at her breasts as she arches herself further into his heated grasp. The reality of him was so much more than she could have imagined.

His presence reassures her that she has chosen the correct path in this. She trembled with the emotions that coursed through her at that moment, uncontrolled and unnamable, and behind and underneath and through it all was the white-hot aching need to touch, to taste, to explore and discover each other.

She reveled in pleasure as Ichigo's strong hands roamed over her body and as his lips slid down her neck, nibbling at the tender juncture of her shoulder and neck. She closed her eyes and sighed as his hand cupped the weight of her breast and he suckled at her nipple. Instinctually she ground her hips against him with a moan as his tongue lapped and pulled at her, the sharp shocks of pleasure coursing directly to the sensitive place between her legs, sending waves of blissful sensation through her body.

"Ichigo ..." his name but a whisper on her lips as her body trembled at his ministrations, his hardness pressing against her body but not yet inside her. She moved her hips against him, seeking contact with him. Ichigo broke away from the kiss, bringing his mouth to the edge of her jaw, the lobe of her ear.

"Rukia."

His hot breath came in ragged gasps against the sensitive shell.

"I need you ..."

_ICHIGO_

Looking deeply into Rukia's eyes he felt an unexpected shock race through him and suddenly his world shifted sideways.

Ichigo dropped soundlessly into a place he recognized from both his dreams and his nightmares.

He shivered in the dark.

An unknown but not unpleasant scent brushed across his mind. He would have gasped at the wonder of it but felt as though he had no lungs. No air to breathe. He tried to speak the words that were on his mind but his voice failed him.

"What is this place and were is Rukia?"

After a few moments of waiting and noticing he was once again surprisingly clothed as a shinigami, he began walking forward, hands stretched out in front as if to ward off the inky blackness that surrounded him. In the far distance Ichigo's eyes fixated on a pin prick of light using it as a guide for his steps. As he walked forward the light grew until he was able to make out tall forms in the distance. As he neared he recognized them as trees, huge and silent. As Ichigo stepped from what he assumed to be the entrance to a cave and out amongst the tall trees he took a deep breath, forgetting for a moment where he was. There was no air in this place and once again the same unknown scent pulled at him, numbing his mind, loosening his grip on reality one proverbial finger at a time. His footsteps made no sound as he walked across the leaf strewn forest floor.

He turned trying to make sense of this place. It felt horribly familiar to him, like a half remembered dream precisely at the point of waking. There for a moment and gone the next.

It was nothing like the place where Zengetsu inhabited his mind. A thought occurred to him,

"Zengetsu. Maybe he knows something."

Ichigo focused his mind and called for his friend. As he searched for the presence of Zengetsu another shutter entered him, this time he sensed only the burden of enduring sorrow. He shutters as an unmistakeable feeling of dread filled him as he stood unmoving surrounded by the tall silent trees. The unknown scent continued to pull at him reminding him of something forgotten.

A voice he recognized slithered into his mind breaking his concentration. He had forgotten about the creature that lived in him. A thought struck him and he fought against an overwhelming urge to be sick.

He knew where he was.

He was in his own mind.

"_Ich-ig-o"_

The words felt as though they had slipped under his skin. Ichigo spun around trying to pin point the person speaking the words. Long shadows danced at the edges of his vision the silent forest remaining dark and unmoving, empty of all except him. He closed his eyes intending on scanning for a reitsu, when he heard the voice again, deepening the chill he had felt when he first found himself in this place. It was singing the same lines over and over. He pressed his hands to his ears in a feeble attempt to block out the words. The horrible voice filled his mind until he felt he would break.

"_I won't cry for what I had, I won't cry for what I lost." _

"_I'm dying for what I'll have; I'm dying for what I'll gain…" _

Except he knew this voice.

His voice.

With terrible comprehension he realized the horrible voice singing in his head was his own. And even more alarmingly it was the part of him that had become a hollow. He searched his mind frantically looking for the prison he had constructed to keep the hollow in his mind sealed away. The same prison that he had created in his mind to keep the dark part of himself locked away was in pieces and he hadn't even noticed.

The words flowed around him from all sides, filling his mind with terrible images.

So much pain, so much blood.

"_You have become what you have always been, underneath." _

"No I don't believe it! I'm not like you. I won't let you out. I won't become a monster like you."

"_It's already too late for you. __You see, I am already free." _

A tendril of fear snaked through him as he realized the absolute truth in those words. Suddenly the trees felt claustrophobic and the shifting play of sunlight on the leaves above seemed menacing. Ichigo began running as fast as his legs would carry him in a desperate need to find the monster inside himself, kill it and somehow get back to Rukia.

The image of Rukia flooded his mind pushing back his sorrow. He felt his thoughts begin to calm when he thought of her strength and passion.

"_You only wish to use her to satisfy your own selfish needs." _

Guilt overwhelmed him. The memory of finding her wounded and broken pricked at his mind. When he lifted her into his arms, she weighed no more than a child. She usually holds herself so rigidly, so stoically that she seemed bigger, an easy match for him. But unconscious, she seemed so much smaller, so very vulnerable. Seeing her like that had struck a chord within him that resonated still. It was in that moment he decided she would need every possible advantage when the time came. He had pushed her away for that reason and in the cruelest way possible. But now after all that he had done to make her hate him he pulled her back in and then proceeded to degrade her further by toying with her emotions.

"I could have stopped myself. What's wrong with me? Why would I hurt her like that?"

He tried to put it together for himself, tried to make sense of his actions. He was alone and in such terrible pain. He had never known anything like it before. Hell, he felt worse than dead, would have rather been dead except for the fact that he needed to be alive to finish what he had started, to keep his promise.

The whisper of his rational mind tried one last, desperate gambit.

"She needs me. She wants to be with me."

"_She never wanted to be with you. You're selfish, and filled with the very taint she seeks to destroy. You will break her. And she will hate you for it." _

"She came to me. She wants to be with me."

"_If she knew what you were she would never have wanted to be with you. You were only doing what you wanted." _

But a whisper of uncertainty stopped him.

"What if she isn't willing? What if she says no? No, she won't say no."

_What if she does? Would that stop you?_

He didn't know. God help him, he didn't know. The realization had burned through the fog of his mind, and it horrified and frightened him in a way nothing ever had in his life. He had tried to protect her from him. He had tried to distance himself from her, make her hate him and now he was thinking about her in the most intimate of ways.

"Wait, what am I doing?"

Why was he thinking about her now in this place? Why was he discussing the person he cared most about in the universe with the part of him that wished for unimaginable suffering?

Unexpectedly, the unknown smell surrounded him forcing him to put aside his thoughts. He put a hand to his nose and mouth trying to block out the overpowering smell. He hadn't realized where he had been running. He looked around himself for the first time in a long while and noticed tiny droplets of red on the bark of a nearby tree. When he walked up to the tree he noticed more blood on the tree behind it. He followed the path of blood covered trees until he reached a clearing.

That's when he saw it.

The ground was thick with bodies and patches of red. That's when he realized what the smell was.

Blood.

He had seen this place in his nightmares. He had killed all of these people and had revelled in the supreme slaughter.

It was already too late.

He turned to face Dark Ichigo ready to fight. And for the first time he noticed that the sound had returned to this place. He reached for his sword but found that unlike his nightmare he was carrying nothing. He brought his sword arm back down and focused on the man now standing before him. The smirk on his face told Ichigo everything and nothing.

Dark Ichigo grinned widely when Ichigo attacked with his fists.

Ichigo knew it would have no effect but he had to try anyway. He couldn't let this monster have control.

A sudden shockwave ripped through the nightmare sending Ichigo to the ground.

"_You tried to hide her from me. That wasn't very nice. But don't worry there are no hard feelings."_

Ichigo springs to his feet, he lunging at Dark Ichigo only to find himself on the ground once again.

"You can't have her. I will stop you."

Dark Ichigo's grin widened as he let out a bone chilling laugh.

"_I'm nothing like the things you have ever faced before. I am the thing that walks between the shadow and the light. And with luck, they will never find you,-and you will know pain and fear."_

Dark Ichigo's voice drops to a low whisper as he leans forward, his face centimetres from a prone Ichigo.

"_-and then you will die."_

"Why are you doing this? Do you want me to be like you? Is that it? Is that it?"

Ichigo's question is met with only harsh laughter.

"_Is that what you think?_ _Human lives are so fragile, slipping away, moment by moment, lost in that vast terrible in between. But there is still time to seize that one last fragile moment. To change what is to come, and I intend to do just that._ _Blood calls out for blood."_

* * *

Ichigo's long fingers were moving over the creamy naked skin of her torso. Dark eyes watched her intently as she worked to pull down his boxers. She had barely pulled them down over his hips when he pressed her flush against him. One arm supported him over her as he pressed his mouth to hers, letting his warm tongue slide against hers.

And just as suddenly as she found herself pressed so tightly against his body, he let her go there heavy breathing mingling between them. His voice a hoarse, broken whisper,

"_My turn."_

* * *

_NOTE: The italics are for Dark Ichigo. _


	11. Chapter 11

Hey all, um wow sorry for the gigantic delay. I had been trying to post weekly but writer's block struck with a vengeance and it took me a while to figure out where exactly I wanted the plot to go. In any case this chapter is fairly dark and there are a few places that might make some readers squeamish. I hope you all enjoy, I spent a lot of time on this chapter.

~Pixiewolf

CHAPTER 11

_RUKIA_

Her hand slid purposefully against his chest, stroking his skin tentatively at first, and then with more boldness as she sought out his mouth, returning his kiss letting her desire overtake her fear and uncertainty.

The voices of reason and common sense had long ago been silenced by Ichigo's deft lips and wandering hands.

Lust darkened eyes watched her intently as she worked, her small shaking hands pulling at his boxers, brushing against his hot flesh.

She barely pulled the boxers over his hips when she felt herself being pressed back down into the mattress by his weight as he drew them off the rest of the way. Rukia watched with a growing sense of unease as he dropped his boxers unceremoniously on the floor next to the bed. She wondered as he turned back to her if they were maybe rushing into something serious. Something they weren't ready for.

If all their unkind words could be pushed aside so easily.

Everything was happening so fast. How many times had she dreamed of this kind of situation while timidly touching her body at night? But yet, the significance of the reality at hand was too much, too soon. They needed to sort out a lot of things. Most importantly, she needed to know how he felt about her. The last few months had been a confusing array of emotions. She shivered with delight as she felt his fingers brush slowly over her spine.

"We are starting something new and wonderful. I trust Ichigo with my life and he's my best friend, now I'll trust him with my heart."

Rukia felt Ichigo's naked chest press against her and they both inhaled sharply. One arm supported him over her as he pressed his warm mouth to hers. Her eyes fluttered closed as Ichigo's lips sent tingles through her body feeding her desire. A soft sigh escaped her lips as her pelvis tensed and she moved under his hands, her body instinctively seeking his.

She wanted him closer. Rukia knew she was showing too much emotion then was acceptable for a shinigami. She closed her eyes, feeling more than a bit embarrassed that she was letting Ichigo know how badly she had missed him and how much she needed him and how scared she had been deep down without him at her side.

When she had first arrived it was Ichigo who had said, "Isn't the point of having people who care about you in your life to have someone to be there when you're scared?"

In that moment she was terrified of losing Ichigo again, and of somehow losing herself. So she clung to him. The one person she was sure cared for her.

Without warning, she felt him draw back from her, his weight shifting again as he sat back, straddling her. She opened her eyes and stared up at Ichigo. She saw a flicker of something dark and incomprehensible pass across his face as he looked down at her possessively, her taut puckered nipples, the plane of her flat, muscled belly, the jut of her hipbones. Her eyes locked on him as he placed his hands on the insides of her thighs spreading them apart.

But to her, in this moment, Ichigo seemed distant. He hardly ever made eye contact with her. It was as if he was intentionally avoiding looking into her eyes.

She had the sudden feeling he was hiding something from her.

He touched her gently at first, his palm, pressing lightly, massaging and making circles at her mound. Rukia closed her eyes as he sent an electric wave coursing through her body when his fingers hit her sensitive flesh. Her doubts once again evaporating as his fingers circled closer to her clit.

The moisture glistened on the folds of her flesh as her breath became ragged. She felt her need for him, growing, becoming unbearable.

He gazed at her, displayed before him. She was open and ready for him, for him and no other.

She opened her eyes, looking up at him. Even in the darkened room he was an Adonis. His raw masculine energy filled her as his strong hands roamed over her body, his lips sliding down her neck, teeth biting into her flesh. Rukia moaned as the blood ran hot and fast through her veins. She closed her eyes and sighed as his hand cupped the weight of her breast before talking her nipple into his mouth.

He released it to cool in the air as his tongue traced circles between her breasts and down her stomach.

Her breathing was coming in hard gasps as small noises escaped her throat uncontrollably.

She ground her hips against him with a moan, feeling his hardness against her own naked body, the sharp shocks of pleasure coursing directly to the sensitive place between her legs, sending waves of blissful sensation through her body. He pulled her harder against him, his strong hands wrapped painfully around her slender arms. Rukia cried out in pain, knowing his fingers would have left bruises on her flesh. Her cries of pain turned swiftly into moans of pleasure as the agonizingly slow shift of his hips against hers had her panting against his mouth as he kissed her with small, slightly frenzied kisses.

He released her abruptly.

She felt his burning gaze on her. Just above her left shoulder like before. And it didn't bother her now. It didn't make her question anymore.

She was putting everything she had into this moment. Her lips, tongue, teeth, fingertips, and hands worked together to please him. It was truly odd. She never thought pleasing Ichigo would be so important to her.

But it was.

He penetrated her slowly at first, letting the tightness of her envelope him. Rukia gasped. They both froze, locked together. His mouth pressed to the curve of where her neck met her shoulder, his massive shoulders hunched over her smaller body. Her cheek pressed against his temple. He let out a low hiss. Eyes closed for once. Hands gripping the bed sheets tightly above her head.

Savouring.

Her nails digging into his back, legs wrapping tightly almost painfully around him, and her little gasps from the intrusion and the sudden pain. She could feel the pain he caused as he filled her, felt the deep pleasure that spilled out from the pain, felt her body arch as her nerves tingled and sparked along with his own. But she had to move. She had to feel him.

Rotating her hips, she gasped again as that huge cock ground against the walls of her channel. Once felt, she couldn't get enough, couldn't stay still. Neither, it seemed, could he.

He pulled out slightly, paused, and thrust into her hard, as deep as he could, reveling mindlessly in the unbelievable pleasure that flowed through his body. She could feel his pulse throbbing inside of her. By now the pain had been replaced with an aching need.

"Ichigo," she breathed in his ear.

She moaned slightly and he slowly withdrew, only to follow with a slow reinsertion.

She could feel the slippery wetness of her fluids on her thighs and she moaned, her fingers entwining in his hair as she pulled his mouth to hers for a bruising kiss. He moved in her again and again, feeling her body as she moved with him, feeling the pleasure he gave her building to a frenzied peak as her hips bucked against him, pulling him in, goading him even harder and deeper into her.

Biting his shoulder hard as she cried out gutturally, the waves of her orgasm building, she urged him faster.

He moved in and out of her at a sinuously slow pace, the movement building friction. His weight moved against her, pressing her into the mattress, her soft moans escaping her throat mixing in with his panting.

It was how things were supposed to be.

The mattress squeaked. The sound of sweaty bodies coming together again and again echoed loudly through the room.

He was losing control. His movements were becoming jerkier. His moans were loud in her ear as he breathed against her neck. The convulsions were squeezing him tighter and quicker.

Her legs wrapped around him, her heels digging into him as she felt the aching heaviness of her approaching climax deep inside of her, unstoppable now. She couldn't help but whimper his name against his shoulder as she shuddered helplessly, her slick walls spasming around him, the sensations utterly overwhelming.

"Ichigo."

Staring down at Rukia, Ichigo paused a moment. Opening her eyes slowly, Rukia looked up at him for the first time in what seemed like an eternity. The moon, casting his face in an eerie relief, the storm that is his hunger kept at bay long enough for him to rake his eyes over her naked body. A slow smile curls at the corners of his mouth and, for an instant Rukia feels the chill of uncertainty race through her.

Rukia watches transfixed as Ichigo leans forward again so that his mouth is now level with her ear. His voice so low, she strains to hear his whispered words.

"Mine."

Something in the way Ichigo said that single word sent shivers coursing through Rukia.

Rukia gasped as mere moments later, Ichigo pulled away from her, his erection laying prominent against his taught stomach as he sat on his knees over her. But before Rukia could utter a word with one fluid movement Ichigo swing his leg to the side and grabbing her by the ankles flipped her so that she lay on her belly.

As she lay, uncertain, Rukia felt him moving up behind her grabbing her hips forcefully and with one quick motion, as she was still shaking from her first orgasm, thrust inside. She felt herself tear at the brutal onslaught, heard herself cry out in pain and confusion as Ichigo slammed into her body hard, his animal lust banishing any possibility of tenderness.

Rukia let out a gasp in her confusion trying to pull away from Ichigo. But Ichigo an almost frenzied display of lust and possession impales Rukia all the way in one smooth thrust.

His fingers dig roughly into her hips as he intensifies his movements his cock swelling impossibly within her depths, as if her pain heightened his pleasure. She hears herself whisper words she never imagined she would need or want to say.

"Ichigo, please…stop."

Rukia feels herself fall limp against him and his unrelenting onslaught. Her aching insides echoing her own screams of pain.

Without warning Ichigo reaches around and pinches a nipple hard as he thrusts again.

A grunt of pleasure escapes Ichigo and he begins to pump into Rukia with a sharp and steady rhythm, his cock pistoning into her depths at a relentless pace. The sense begins to drain from her mind as her breath is forced out her lungs with each hard thrust. His nails dig into her flesh as he pounds her harder but there is pleasure in that pain and despite herself she groans for him not to stop, to keep going until she is no more.

He rams harder, until her teeth chatter and her limbs feel as though they are on fire.

"Rukia," he groans her name, making it sound strange and foreign to her ears.

"You feel so good, you feel so damn good. I can't believe he never fucked you before."

Hearing him cry out her name forces her further down the path of her own release.

Her climax rolls over her with as much brutal force as he is taking her body. She closes her eyes and lets it tear through her being. Her throat is dry and hoarse from her moans of pleasure and screams of pain.

She finds herself crying out again.

"Ichigo!"

She felt him slam once more against her almost recklessly, losing all semblance control, and rhythm. His moans and words were lost to her, as the convulsions closed in around her in one steady gripping beat that had the world slipping away from her leaving only perfection. He rode out his pleasure rocking against her jerking hips once, twice, three times then limply fell to the side, while Rukia lay panting face down on the bed beside him.

She felt him shift against and then settle himself next to her, his arm wrapped around her middle possessively.

She let out a sigh.

There are moments in everyone's lives when time stops. The moment you score the winning goal or first lay eyes on your soul mate but for Rukia the moment time stopped was when Ichigo lay down beside her.

For Rukia this was the perfect moment.

For in this instant, everything was erased, and nothing existed except her and Ichigo.

She wished it would never end she would enjoy this time however brief. She felt him shift again feeling the chill night air against her naked skin. The bed squeaked as he sat up. She watched him as he gathered his clothes from the floor, feeling a pang as he slipped on his shirt and pants.

Rukia reached out her hand sliding it into his like it was always meant to be there.

"Ichigo...I-" she felt the words that she felt to the very core of her being struggle to reach her lips and fail. A half remembered story from Matsumoto invading her mind in that moment.

"_Never ever tell a man you love them after you sleep with them for the first time. It goes straight to their heads...both of them."_

Rukia felt herself blush at the memory; the concept of love was still too foreign to her. She lowered her eyes, her hand slipping from his, pulling the bed sheet to cover her nakedness suddenly embarrassed.

"Go-o-d night Ichigo."

It came as a bit of a shock when he turned to face her, bending down he placed a kiss on the top of her head.

"For next time."


	12. Chapter 12

As always I appreciate the reviews.

Enjoy.

~ Pixiewolf3

CHAPTER 12

_RUKIA_

Rukia yawned as she walked slowly towards school. A few moments later she yawned again wondering when exactly she had become so lazy. In the soul society she would have been up at dawn training hard. She sighed again,

"I spend any amount of time as a 'normal' human teenager and become lazy."

Turning the corner she nearly walked into a rather disgruntled Orihime.

"What's the matter Orihime?" Asked Rukia as she gracefully sidestepped the taller girl.

"Rukia," said Orihime her voice low and breathless as if she had been running,

"I've been looking everywhere for you. Where is Ichigo? It's been nearly three weeks and he's been here what once and that was three weeks ago?"

Rukia turned her head to look over her shoulder at the orange head that was currently flirting shamelessly with some girls from their school.

"Oh Kon, Ichigo is going to kill you," thought Rukia as she turned her attention from the antics of the artificial soul, back to Orihime.

"I don't know what you're talking about he's been here every day this week," replied Rukia trying to keep the grin off her face. One of the few things she enjoyed most about the human world was picking on the overly emotional Orihime.

"Rukia! I know that's Kon! Where is Ichigo? Is he on a mission or something?" Asked Orihime dropping her voice at the mention of the word mission.

Rukia slung her bag over her shoulder and started walking away from Orihime. Orihime jogged to keep up with her, her expression still firm.

"Rukia you can't just ignore this, or me, I know you know there's something you're not telling me. And knowing Ichigo it's probably something seriously dangerous. Rukia you get to see way more of Ichigo then I do, so you have to tell me!"

Rukia blushed at Orihime's unknowing statement. It was true she did get to see 'a lot' of Ichigo. Rukia picked up her speed even more, so that Orihime wouldn't see the colour of her face.

"Orihime you know what, I have some important shinigami matters to deal with right now. Talk to you later okay. Bye." Said Rukia nearly shouting as she took off in a dead run.

Moments later Rukia leaned against the brick wall of the alley she was currently hiding in. She was ashamed. Ashamed she was hiding from Orihime, ashamed her body had nearly given her away and most of all she was ashamed she too had no idea where Ichigo was.

To be honest it hadn't bothered her. Hell she hadn't even noticed. She had seen him every single night for the last three weeks. And he hadn't missed a single night.

She blushed again and groaned. It wasn't like her not to notice his absences. He always seemed to be around when she needed him so she never noticed. It was the only reasonable explanation for her lapse she could think of. But she still couldn't explain his recent behaviour. It seemed odd that he would intentionally miss school and that this had being going on for three weeks.

"Now where is he going during the day?"

She thought back to the last time she had spoken to him wondering if he had said anything to her in passing about a mission or training exercise. She felt her face heat as she remembered his visit the night before. She stifled yet another yawn speculating his nightly nocturnal visits where the reason for her fatigue.

They even had a system, he would knock gently twice on the wall that joined their two rooms sometime after midnight, then moments later she would find him standing over her, silent.

In those moments her heart felt lighter than it had in months. She had her best friend back and they were even closer than ever. She brought her hand to her chest, feeling her beating heart beneath her fingertips and closed her eyes.

She remembered the way he had watched her. She loved how she could always feel those dark eyes on her. Always watching over her, always there keeping her safe like a warm embrace that never went away.

He had left her room afterwards. He always did. It wouldn't do to have been found by his father or his sisters if they happened to come home early. She had seen far too many human movies to know that scenario always ended badly for everyone involved.

She opened her eyes again, the dirty brick of the alley coming back into focus. She felt a pang of loneliness fill her. It had been several weeks since she had seen Ichigo's father and sisters. He literally left a note and some money saying he and his girls' were off to discover himself at Wally's Wacky Waterpark and that he would be back soon. It had been strange but he was a strange guy. She remembered she had wanted to talk to Ichigo about it but she couldn't find him.

"Where are you Ichigo?"

After a few moments she peered hesitantly around the corner breathing out a sigh of relief,

"lost her."

She meant no ill will towards her friend she just didn't have the time or energy to answer her questions.

She would have to work harder at keeping her feelings about Ichigo to herself.

For the first time in her life she felt joyful and optimistic. She smiled to herself as she let the pleasant feelings wash away her worry.

Taking a deep breath Rukia stepped out into the bustle of the street and headed towards school.

Her detour had cost her considerably. She was late. She hated being late.

Just as she neared the gates to the school she spotted Ichigo standing just outside the school his back to her.

"Ichigo," she said in greeting intending to continue past him into the school.

"_Rukia!"_ Shouted Ichigo as he grabbed her forcefully by the arm and dragged her around to the side of the school and out the view.

"Ichigo! Ichigo, stop! You're hurting me," pleaded Rukia again and again as Ichigo half dragged half carried her away from the building, into a more concealed area. The more she struggled and protested the tighter his grip became. She struggled alongside him, forced to run to match his long stride.

By the time they stopped, Rukia was out of breath and shaking with fury.

Rukia pulled her arm forcefully from his grip and brushed past him with the intention of walking away.

"_Rukia."_

A shiver went down her spine.

She didn't know why she stopped. Something in her was telling her to keep walking, telling her not to turn around.

She turned.

Maybe it was curiosity or the way he said her name. His voice had a dark sensual tone she had recently come to recognize in him.

Her eyes flicked nervously up to his. It was times like these that she cursed her human body. Even after his behaviour she felt herself ready for him.

And then remembered her anger.

She could feel her insides boil as the frustrations of the morning simmered inside her mind, she wanted to do something, she wanted to yell, to ask him where he was going.

She licked her lips nervously; she could feel the words slipping away, her heart pounding in her chest.

She closed her eyes trying to clear her head and order her thoughts.

When she opened her eyes again a few seconds later his face was so close to hers she took an involuntary step backwards. She could feel the bark of a tree rough against her fingers. Another shiver rippled through her as she forced herself to look him in the eye.

He had stopped in mid stride, he looked somehow frozen, his unfocused expression halfway between stoic silence and relaxed nonchalance, everything except his eyes, which Rukia could only describe as a leer. It was as if he was at war with himself. His expression and body language would have been comical in any other situation.

She brought her arms up and crossed them at her chest hoping to make her slight frame more imposing against his larger one.

"You'd better explain yourself Ichigo. I even had to cover for you with Orihime and frankly your behaviour has me worried too. What the hell is going on?" Commanded Rukia trying to keep her voice calm and her anger under control.

Ichigo remained silent and unresponsive as she stood watching him. She watched with fascination as he slowly schooled his expression and gestures to one of mock indifference.

"_R-u-k-i-a,"_ said Ichigo finally speaking, pronouncing every letter of her name one by one and grinning at her. His eyes undressing her.

Pulling her arms defensively closer to her body Rukia stared him down.

"Well? Are you going to answer me or not?"

"_Hmm. Not," _replied Ichigo still grinning, as he took a step forward towards Rukia.

"FINE! If you're just going skip out without a word to anyone see if I care."

He was on her in an instant, pressing her roughly against the tree, lips on hers.

"Go away!" she yelled breaking the kiss, attempting to push him away. She cursed her weak human form as he stood motionless staring down at her, head cocked to the side, his expression amused but also something more.

He took her arms and raised them above her head. She felt his fingers close around them as he brought his other hand to her face. Unconsciously, she moved closer, his lips now a mere fraction away from hers. She felt him tighten his fingers, her pulse beating a steady rhythm in sync with his. The late morning breeze, stirring her hair and sending a waft of her fragrance, lavender shampoo mixing it with his own personal scent.

"I shouldn't be doing this, why am I doing this," shouted the logical part of Rukia's mind as Ichigo's lips brushed gently against the delicate skin of her exposed neck. She moaned as she felt his teeth nibble her sensitive flesh. She moved herself closer to his body, feeling his erection against her stomach.

She felt her own body react to his closeness. She cursed her human body as she felt her desire for him grow.

A moment ago she had been yelling at him now she found herself wanting to be closer to him.

She wiggled a hand loose from his grip and brought it to his member, gently touching it through the fabric of his clothes. He moaned her name as she traced the outline of his desire.

"_Rukia…"_

Her reply was a swift kick to the knee, and a punch to his chest forcing him to stumble back her arm still stuck in his grip.

She caught a glimpse of something indescribably dark flicker across his face before disappearing.

Startled, Rukia tried to turn to walk away but Ichigo moved faster, blocking her, tightening his grip on her arm. She winced with the sudden pain in her arm. He pulled her against him once more, locking her in a bear hug.

_"Don't push me Rukia,"_ he whispered against her lips. Rukia shoved him as hard as she could with one hand, but his body was like stone and did not yield. He brushed his lips against hers for a fraction of a second; barely pulling back. Rukia opened her mouth to tell him where he could go but she never got the chance. His tongue swept into her mouth, his firm body pressed hard against her own. Her eyes went wide as he ravaged her mouth, she shoved against him again, but he held her fast, his lips brushing over hers, his tongue sliding to tease against hers and despite her best efforts she moaned for him. Ichigo pressed his thumb against her lower lip, a brushing caress, his hands stroking over her shoulders and across her hips as he brought his mouth perilously close to hers once more before pulling away at the last second.

He dropped her wrist releasing her from his iron grip. Without word or explanation he turned and began walking away from her.

Rukia watched with a growing sense of unease as he disappeared around a corner. She walked the short distance to where she dropped her bag earlier and reaching down to pick it up she noticed her hands were shaking and the feeling as though she had just escaped something terrible washed over her.


	13. Chapter 13

Nearing the finish line all! Can't wait!

~Pixiewolf

CHAPTER 13

RUKIA

Rukia flipped open her cell phone, impatiently glaring at the small glowing numbers in the corner. She snapped the phone closed with slightly more force then was necessary making Renji wince. Rukia was annoyed. Actually she had long ago passed through annoyance and was squarely in the realm of anger.

"Ah Rukia?" She felt herself tense at the sound of her name spoken with such hesitation. She slumped her shoulders feeling weary all of a sudden.

"I'm sure he'll be here soon. Even if he's the most annoying guy who ever lived I've never known him to shirk his duties. Besides maybe he's busy dealing with a hollow somewhere else?"

Rukia grinned at her friend's words he seemed to always know how to make her feel better. He was right of course, Ichigo never forgot his duty.

In that moment it shocked her to fully realize how much she had come to depend on Ichigo, and look to him for both his unfathomable strength and kindness. She blushed when her mind began to wander into more personal areas.

"Don't forget lover," she coughed trying to hide the blush that had suddenly crept into her face. It had been nearly a month and it still embarrassed her to think about her new relationship with Ichigo. It had been slow, and it had taken a long time to break through the barriers of the past. But slowly, with time she opened herself up to him, a fraction at a time, allowing small glimpses of the big picture like she had with no other person.

Turning those thoughts aside, Rukia, once again turned her mind back to the situation before her. Grimacing once more at her silent phone, Rukia slipped it into her pocket and turned to her friend.

"Have you found anything out about all these hollow attacks?"

"The captain's are looking into it, but so far they haven't gotten any solid leads. And that's what's so strange, even hueco mundo is silent even if we did defeat practically all their generals. There should still be something."

Renji's words troubled her. Ever since Aizen and the arrancar had been defeated the hollows that had been attacking humans had been few and those were weak. It seemed that lately there had only been a few times when the hollows had been strong. Even those supposed strong ones were weaklings compared to the arrancar. And lately there weren't even those attacks. Something had definitely changed.

Rukia grimaced at the sudden appearance of spiritual pressure nearby and unsheathed her sword. Glancing over at Renji she gave him a small nod of understanding before taking off together in the direction of the pressure. She could tell even at a distance that it wasn't a strong one but she would still handle this one like any other.

A reckless shinigami was a dead shinigami.

She let thoughts of Ichigo slide from her mind; glad for this distraction and confident that herself and Renji were more than enough to take care of this one. Nearing the scene a tingle of fear raced through Rukia before disappearing. She dropped to the ground to investigate the area while Renji dove at the creature. Rukia closed her eyes in a brief moment of concentration as she felt for all the creatures in the area.

Something didn't feel right she was certain of it.

Rukia glanced over at the fight just in time to witness the disintegration of the hollow.

"Something's definitely wrong Rukia. That hollow was just sitting there it wasn't even trying to absorb souls. It almost seemed like it was waiting for us," exclaimed Renji as he walked over to her sheathing his zanpakuto.

Now that she thought about it she couldn't remember the last time she had met a hollow on her nightly patrols. Rukia frowned trying to make sense of the sudden change in hollow frequency of attacks and behaviour.

"What was it waiting for?"

Renji shrugged his shoulders frowning, "Ah, you know I've never been good a figuring things out so your guess is as good as mine."

"What about Urahara? I haven't been able to speak to him for a while. Does he have any insights?

"Yah, he said a king has returned whatever that means."

Rukia felt panic rush through her with Renji's words.

"What! Aizen?"

Renji shook his head, "that's what I thought but Urahara said no it wasn't Aizen and besides he was never technically king of hueco mundo that was Baraggan Luisenbarn. Rukia I don't think he knows much about this, or if he does he's not sharing with me. All he said there was a king and that was all. I don't think we should be worried anyway, we always knew there would be a new king sooner or later."

"Renji I think Urahara's powers of discovery and relaxed attitude are rubbing off on you," smirked Rukia.

Renji put an arm around Rukia, his hearty laugh breaking the tension she was feeling. It felt good to be able to puzzle out the latest problem with her long time friend. She wondered if there was even a reason to be concerned about this if the captains didn't seem too worried. Renji turned towards Rukia pulling her forward towards him and giving her shoulder a friendly pat.

Something unidentifiable but familiar flashed through her consciousness.

Pain blossomed in her shoulder.

She hadn't even seen it coming.

She wondered briefly why this felt so familiar as she jumped back blindly to avoid the next hit she knew was coming, if this was a pattern for her. It seemed like she attracted hollows she couldn't sense but seemed to know her.

The thing took another swing at her, narrowly missing her face.

"FOCUS," her mind screamed.

She jumped back again turned and took a swing at the hollow. Out of the corner of her eye she caught a glimpse of Renji's battle. He was fighting another one of the creatures. She took another swing at it, sending it off balance before side stepping a clumsy attack and finishing it off with a thrust to the heart. As she watched it dissolve a thought crept into her mind.

"It would have taken a powerful hollow to have gotten so close to me without me sensing it. So how did I defeat it so easily?"

"Hey Rukia. Ru-k-ia?" Hollered Renji trying to get Rukia's attention.

"Why was it so easy to kill the hollows, Renji?"

"Easy? In case you haven't noticed Rukia, your bleeding," replied Renji investigating Rukia's wound.

Rukia looked around her at the ground, ignoring her wound the pain already a distant memory as she followed the path of attack. She stared at the drops of blood on the ground right below where she had been standing, the direction of the attack and where she had felt the familiar presence.

The threads of understanding drifted just out of reach.

"Renji, I don't think the hollow that did this was one of the hollows we beat. I think it's still here. And Renji I can't sense it. Have you ever heard of a hollow that a shinigami can't sense? Even arrancar's have some spiritual pressure even when they try to hide it. I have never heard of a hollow being able to do something like this."

Rukia took a step away from Renji but kept her eyes fixed on his.

Renji shook his head his expression grim.

"Rukia what are you saying?"

"Renji how many hollows have you encountered that have been able to mask their spiritual energy from you?"

"None?"

"Right. Besides it wasn't acting like any hollow I have ever seen. It was like...oh I don't know. Like it was waiting for us or something."

She looked again at the blood droplets on the ground and looked a Renji.

"Wait! Renji, I think it was waiting for me!"

Before Rukia could answer her question she felt the presence again, this time it was unmistakable.

"Get ready Renji, I think our mystery hollow is coming back."

Rukia watched as Renji drew his sword and take a small step forward.

Ichigo dropped to the ground in front of Rukia and Renji.

"Ichigo. You better get ready there's a hollow somewhere around here," exclaimed Renji his sword at the ready. When Ichigo made no move to draw his sword Renji yelled over to his friend once again.

"Oy! Ichigo-"

Renji was cut off abruptly by Ichigo raising a hand, followed by a long silence. Rukia looked from Ichigo to Renji, puzzled by Ichigo's strange behaviour. Ichigo still stopped dead in his tracks turned. His eyes locked on Renji, his expressing that of seething, murderous anger.

With a growl he attacked, sending them both flying through the air as Ichigo unleashed his bankai. The men landed with a solid thud, speed and surprise had given Ichigo the upper hand as he unleashed his getsuga tenshou at a shocked Renji. Before Renji could recover Ichigo hit him solidly once, then twice. Renji was able to use sword to gain leverage, and attack Ichigo, knocking him off center. While Ichigo was off-balance Renji was able to free himself, escaping his grip and rising to his feet. Renji was more skilled, but he was no match for the blind rage and overwhelming power that Ichigo commanded. With lightning-fast reflexes Ichigo rose and lunged again at Renji, knocking him hard to the ground.

"_She's mine! You can't touch her, you can't have her, she's mine!"_

Rukia watched with a growing sense of dread as the spiritual pressure around Ichigo begin to change mirroring the rage she heard in his voice.

"Ichigo," panted Renji still trying to reason with his friend. "Ichigo! Stop this!"

"_Mine. Nobody touches her but me."_

"Ichigo? What's wrong with you? Who are you talking about?" Renji's anger flared as he blocked another attack. Rukia could tell Renji was about to lose it attack Ichigo.

But something in Rukia could somehow sense that Ichigo was no longer paying any attention to Renji. She felt her face grow hot followed by a peculiar feeling she couldn't quite reconcile herself to. When she looked at Ichigo standing before her something inside her was telling her not just that he was dangerous but to run. She took an involuntary step backwards. Something also told her body to ready itself for him.

She watched with a growing sense of dread as Ichigo's eyes narrowed and a weird mix of silent rage, anxiety, and determination pass through his expression. Renji had long ago stopped talking, sensing the unmistakable tension between his two friends.

And then he was there, standing in front of her. The air crackled around them as his ever darkening spiritual energy surrounded her.

She shivered as he brought his hand to her face. She felt him softly wipe away a tear from her cheek. She brought her hand up to her face, surprised to find her fingers wet. She lifted her head slowly, her eyes meeting Ichigo's, and that same incomprehensible stare. She should have been furious over his unprovoked attack of Renji and especially over his supposed claiming of her. But in that instant she wasn't angry, she had even forgotten Renji was still there, wondering exactly what was going on.

He crushed his lips to hers in a tongue swirling breathtaking kiss that made her feel like the bottom of her stomach had dropped out. It was a feeling she decided she liked.

When he finally broke the heated kiss the emotions that washed over him then were just as bewildering, if not for the speed with which they came and he hid them, then for what they revealed. Possessive pride, relief, something more, something dark_?_

Was this really her Ichigo?

That last thought conjured images of her intimate encounter with him only the night before. She felt a warmth spread through her and her heart beat more rapidly as she recalled his scent and his touch, the feel of his skin against hers, the way their first tentative kiss had ignited into a passionate exploration of duelling tongues. She felt something cool against her skin.

She quickly suppressed those thoughts as she attempted to regain her control.

She looked up again determined to get an explanation from him about his strange behaviour.

She gasped.

She watched in rapt horror as the white bone of a hollow mask continued to spread across his face. His golden eyes stared down at her, his expression an outright triumphant leer. She gasped in pain as she felt a clawed finger slide across her arm, splitting the fabric and piercing the skin. She wanted to scream, but no sound left her mouth only tiny panicked gasps. She could hear her friend Renji shout her name from somewhere nearby but she couldn't see him. It took her a moment to process what Renji was saying and by then it was too late. Even though Ichigo's transformation in his hollow form was not complete, his command of his powers where almost unimaginable. Rukia screamed as Ichigo sent a powerful attack towards her friend.

"Renji, nnnnoooooo!"

She felt for Renji's spiritual energy, searched with all her might to find some small trace that would tell her he had survived.

Choking back a sob Rukia struggled against Ichigo's grasp.

Ichigo held her close his cold lips brushing against her neck sending involuntary shivers down her spine.

"You could be my queen."

This new position brought her agonizingly close to her sword. She struggled to reach it determined to avenge her friend.

Her fingers brushed the tip of her sword as she felt his tongue brush the top of her ear. She felt herself whimper at the familiar intimate touch. She felt cool steel of her sword as he pulled her closer to his changing body. When did he let go of my arm she wondered. She could feel his heated desire against her stomach and felt her own body respond. She wanted him more now more than at any other time since she had known him. Her fingers wrapped around her sword, its familiar feeling in her hand calmed her, and she knew what she had to do.

"Way of destruction 1! Sho!"

Rukia leapt backwards away from Ichigo drawing her sword. He was fully transformed now. Her attack had not hurt him physically she could tell, it had surprised him though.

She racked her brain trying to figure out what was happening? One moment Renji and her were fighting a mystery hollow the next she's fighting Ichigo.

It was too much. Her head was pounding; her arm throbbed from where the Ichigo had grabbed her and she didn't even want to think about her wounded shoulder but forced herself to take stock of her injury. She forced herself to look further up her injured arm and frowned at the black blood around the wound the hollow had inflicted on her. She suddenly felt sick and dizzy.

"Poison? Did that hollow poison me?" She wondered as she took a step away from Ichio. Glancing up, she saw clear golden eyes watching her.

"This isn't happening," Rukia gasped, trying to keep from collapsing to the ground. The poison was obviously powerful.

"No!" She managed to mutter as Ichigo closed the distance between them.

"Deny all you like," Ichigo said, not unkindly. "But, believe me, this is happening. I never could've imagined you'd be this delicious. And to think he tried to keep you all to himself."

"What? Who?"

Rukia staggered, confused and in pain. She felt his arm steady her as she clutched at her chest feeling her lungs shutting down as she gasped for air. She struggled to keep her grip on her sword but it dropped ineffectually to the pavement beside her, forgotten. She looked down at it some part of her knowing she needed it but for some reason she can't remember. She stares down at it intently trying to make her oxygen starved brain focus.

And then there is someone in front of her and to her left, watching her but her vision is to blurry to see clearly. She looks up into Ichigo's eyes just as she drops to her knees, her gasps coming in small panicked bursts now. Ichigo is standing over her, his face now a hollow mask, his partly transformed body a mixture of beauty and deadly skill. He howled in ecstasy as he stood over her, his victory nearly assured.

The familiar man is standing closer now, she can see his lips moving but no sound reaches her ears. Her hand drops to her side where she feels the reassuring length of her sword beneath her numb fingers. Ichigo doesn't seem to notice her sword, his is under her shirt grasping at her numb flesh.

The sword was heavier then she remembered. Her body ached everywhere as she pulled herself to her feet, Ichigo still grinning at her behind his mask.

"I love you Ichigo."

Her hand shook as she plunged her sword deep into his heart before collapsing to the ground again and closing her eyes.

A strange sound beside her ear shakes her awake one last time.

She looks up into the eyes of Urahara, his expression grim and shadowed a glowing ball of what she could only describe as blue energy in his out stretched hand. He drops his hand in her direction and the glowing ball fills her vision.

And then there is only darkness.


	14. Chapter 14

CHAPTER 14

RUKIA

Rukia groaned. It was the groan of someone who didn't expect to be alive. She tried to ignore it. All she wanted to do was roll over and let sleep or death take her.

"Whatever one's quicker," she thought morbidly.

She lay still for as long as she could before succumbing what her mind could only describe as the "hard pokey thing" she was currently laying on. Letting out a sigh she half heartedly felt around beneath her before giving up and trying to ignore the pain. All she wanted to do was sleep and forget. Her brain agreed whole heartedly with her decision not to open her eyes and move. After a few more moments of attempted sleep, Rukia opened her eyes and sat up. She reached up to rub her eyes and to push a few wayward strands of hair back behind her ears. She turned slightly to look at whatever it was that had woken her and noticed her sword in the gloom of the cave. She wrapped her fingers tightly around the familiar object before she turned her head to take in her new surroundings.

"Why am I in a cave?" She wondered as she struggled feebly to her feet, swaying slightly. She felt awful.

"Am I dead," she wondered as she took a somewhat shaky step towards the mouth of the cave using her sword for balance.

She hesitated only briefly before turning her head to look at her shoulder. It was still injured, that she could tell without needing to look. But the black substance that had been oozing from it had all but vanished. She furrowed her brow in confusion.

She had never been very good at puzzles.

She turned her attention back to the mouth of the cave, shoving any further questions about her mystery wound to the corner of her mind for the time being. It throbbed angrily with every step.

It had been a slow and arduous journey to the mouth of the cave but it had been worth it. Even though she had no idea where she was she felt better out amongst the trees.

She felt that the place had a familiar feel to it like a half remembered dream just out of reach. She placed a tentative hand on the trunk of a tree and felt the rough bark beneath her fingers. The tree looked real and it felt real but some part of her was telling her nothing in this place was real.

She clutched at her head and doubled over as a wave of nausea washed over her. When it passed she continued walking through the trees.

"Hello?" She called out tentatively at first and then louder with each step.

"Urahara if this is some kind of joke I'm not laughing. Urahara? Hello is anyone there?"

She paused when a rustling to her left caught her attention. Hand poised at the ready over her sword, Rukia took a cautious step towards the noise. She peered around the tree to get a look at whatever had made the noise only to find nothing. Frowning she studied the area until she heard yet another noise some distance from her position.

"Hey! Wait."

Forgetting her nausea Rukia again moved towards the noises only find nothing and then to hear rusting further ahead. After several minutes of zigzagging across the forest Rukia caught glimpses of pockets of light in the distance that could only be a clearing.

Nothing could have prepared her for what she saw.

ICHIGO

The sudden noise of someone approaching startled him awake. He tried to ready himself for _his_ approach. Ichigo knew any effort he made would be useless but he felt he had to try.

"A prisoner's first duty is to escape after all," he thought with a mild sense of chagrin. Besides maybe _He_ would make a mistake.

"Like I did."

He felt his wistful attitude fade a little at the thought before he brushed the negative thought aside and closed his eyes. Pretending to be asleep or dead was his best defence against _Him_.

He nearly didn't hear her when she whispered his name.

"Ichigo."

He opened his eyes, fully aware of how the barbed wire curled around his wrists, torso and legs, pinning him to the ground. He lay motionless. Waiting for her to speak again.

"Am I delusional? Am I dead?" He wondered as he strained himself in an attempt to hear the faintest of noises.

The brush of a delicate hand across his head gently moving long damp strands of hair from his eyes startled him.

He tried to move so he could see her but the movement only reopened old wounds.

"Ichigo. Ichigo can you hear me. It's Rukia. I'm going to try to cut this wire okay."

He waited. He could tell she was examining the wire for hidden Kido first. Once satisfied that it was in fact just barbed wire he felt her set to cutting it away from him. It was a slow and arduous process. Ichigo often had to fight his impatience for freedom in order to keep still and not reinjure himself.

When the last of the wire was carefully removed he felt Rukia gently inspect some of the deeper wounds.

"What's Rukia doing here in this place?" pondered Ichigo to himself as he began the laborious process of sitting up.

He couldn't help but cry out in pain. He had been laying there trapped for months. His muscles sore and his skin raw. Somehow seeing her again made him feel a little better.

"R-Rukia? What- What are you doing here?"

"Where's here Ichigo?" Her question surprised him. He wondered how she could have entered his mind and not know where she was. His response was slow almost careful as he tried to feel out any possible traps.

"We're in my mind."

"What! What do you mean we're in your mind? Is this some kind of trick? If Urahara put you up to this-." Exclaimed a startled Rukia.

"Ichigo. What's going on? If this is your mind how did I get here? I don't understand!"

Mention of the outside world shocked him into silence. It had been so long since he had spoken to anyone but _Him, _let alone allow himself to think about the place he called home and the people he loved.

"_He_ trapped me here. The hollow part of me," exclaimed Ichigo, his responses still slow.

"_He_ said it was his turn. As for how you got here and how you found me, I have no idea!" If the situation hadn't been so serious Ichigo would have laughed out loud at the absurdity of it all.

"I tried to control him. I tried to keep him away from you." Ichigo forced back another wave of pain and panic. It was getting harder to concentrate, nothing was making sense.

There were still too many gaps. Too many unanswered questions.

"Let me get this straight you have been trapped in your mind by a uh- hollow Ichigo?" Said Rukia her hand on her chin as she slowly worked her way through what he had just told her.

It was just like old times, her sitting at his desk, him sitting across from her on his bed as they discussed strategy or their latest mission, all except for one thing.

He had never seen her face turn that shade of white before nor seen that particular expression.

Her voice was shaky, her eyes never quite meeting his.

"Ichigo...h-how long have you been trapped here?"

He furrowed his brow trying to pin down an exact date but he had been cut off for a while, his information infrequent at best.

"I'm not really sure. The only information I get is when _He_ feels it was necessary to gloat over something in person. A few months maybe. The last thing I remember before I became trapped was you and me...and uh." He could feel himself blush even now at the memory. He looked over at her and then realization hit him. It was like an elephant had just walked into a room or rather exploded into it.

He wanted to know what happened after _He_ took control.

"I didn't, we didn't-" she said in a tone he didn't recognize.

Just when he was getting the courage to ask more questions, Rukia doubled over in pain. He leapt over to her, worried and unsure.

"Rukia what's going on? Are you okay?" Her reply was only a whisper before she sagged to the ground.

"Ichigo- I- I don't know what's going on but I think we need to leave now. Right now!"

"Rukia, Rukia. Come on lets go."

Ichigo hauled Rukia to her feet, she wobbled but stayed upright.

"Uh were too?" He stated aloud as he scanned the area for a likely exit.

"I woke up in a cave not too far from here? Maybe that's the way out?"

"I think I know the place. Let's go."

Wincing with every step on his injured feet they hobbled together towards the cave.

"I hope this is right Ichigo. I don't think I'm going to get a do over," groaned Rukia, her face pale, her lips an alarming shade of blue.

He pulled Rukia tighter to him and grinned down at her. She looked up at him with her relentless violet eyes, and he knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that she had lied to him.

"There's no place like home."

RUKIA

Rukia opened her eyes wearily, her surroundings coming into focus slowly. After a moment she began to recognize small things about the place, the colour of the table, the curtains, and the man sitting quietly in the corner across from her. She groaned clenching her fists in the blanket that was covering her.

It felt like a very large very heavy object had been put on her. Even her fingers hurt when she tried to move them.

All she wanted to do was close her eyes and sleep for all eternity.

She wanted to forget.

She couldn't tell if it was her shinigami training, or her stubborn nature that made her open her eyes and sit up but she cursed them both as she placed her hands to her sides in an attempt to push herself into a sitting position.

With her head pounding and specks of light dancing across her vision she slowly pushed herself up into a sitting position. At last, sweating and panting with exhaustion and pain she managed a half sitting half slouching arrangement, the contents of her stomach making a daring attempt at freedom.

Taking long deep breathes she turned her head so she could face the man in the corner.

"Urahara," she rasped, the words sounding like they belonged to another much older woman. She licked her lips, suddenly aware of how dry her mouth was.

"How long have I been asleep?" She asked. The way her bones ached she wondered briefly if she had been asleep for an eternity.

She wondered if he would let her sleep for another eternity.

"Urahara, what- what happened?" She flinched at her own hesitation, this wasn't like her.

She felt detached from herself and her emotions. Like someone watching someone else's life.

"You were quite badly injured you know. If you had taken any longer that poison along with your other injuries would have be fatal," stated Urahara matter-of-factly, his voice soft almost hesitant.

Urahara's words came as no surprise to Rukia. She had known the wounds and the poison were bad. But she was a shinigami and she had a duty to protect. She wondered if she should remind Urahara of that fact but decided against it.

"I feel terrible."

"I told you it was bad. A little longer and I think my poison would have had a more lasting result. I mean Tessai is good but perhaps not as good as Miss Orihime it seems."

Rukia thought she saw Urahara wince as the words left his mouth. But then Urahara did not make mistakes.

"Your poison? I thought a hollow poisoned me?" The words felt like glue in her mouth. She watched Urahara closely for any sign of deception but his posture remained the same and his voice assiduously calm.

"I'm sorry Rukia it was the only way. _He_ always seemed to be watching you. Plus I needed it to be believable. And you where- uh quite believable."

Rukia grimaced and turned her head to the window, careful to keep her voice free of emotion.

"That thing was far more believable then me."

"Yes well," started Urahara before letting the rest of his sentence drop. Rukia closed her eyes, the unspoken words dancing their way through her mind.

She was the only one who had found him believable. He had avoided all of their friends, his family even Urahara, but not her. He had essentially avoided everyone that would recognize him as an imposter and he know she would not recognize him.

She was glad he had turned her head or Urahara would have seen her cry.

She waited a minute to regain her composure before she asked her next questions.

"How did you get a hold of hollows? How did I end up in what I can only assume as Ichigo's mind? Why me Urahara?" The last question she asked was nearly a whisper by the time she finished. She wasn't really sure she wanted to know the answer.

A pregnant silence passed between them before Urahara began speaking.

"The hollows were not hollows you see, they were only made to look like hollows. They are constructs. Initially I created them to test you and Ichigo but then I decided they had a more useful purpose. They carried a solution I invented and followed you, waiting for the perfect time to strike and to give you the chance to enter _His_ mind or not."

"So what your saying is you created a construct that would follow me around then inject me with a solution that would help me cross into Ichigo's mind but only if the timing was right or it would have killed me?"

"Exactly! And it worked splendidly, better than I could have ever imagined."

Rukia could hardly believe what she was hearing. She couldn't believe Urahara had not only cooked up this as Ichigo referred to it, a half baked plan, but then went ahead with it. She didn't know if she should be angry for putting her in such a dangerous situation or flattered that he believed so highly in her abilities.

"But I know that first hollow Renji and I sensed was definitely not a construct. Does this mean you can you control real hollows now too?" The last part of that sentence came out mocking even though she hadn't intended it to. All of this information was a little unsettling to hear all at once.

Urahara continued to watch Rukia intently as he continued his story,

"No I can't control hollows, however I can catch them and stun them in advance and well, strategically place them as it were."

Rukia bowed her head feeling her anger rise, she tried to hold onto the anger she felt but her fatigue got the better of her and it slipped away.

"So I was bait then all along. You couldn't tell me because you needed me to be convincing enough so I could distract that- that thing-. And all this strange hollow behaviour Renji and I have been reporting to the captain was you all along?"

Urahara cut her off with the raise of his hand.

"It needed to be you Rukia. You were the only one close enough that my poison could work to allow you to slip into _its_ mind undetected and save Ichigo."

His words rattled her. He was right of course. She had been the best person for the job and it had worked. The truth still didn't make her feel any better than before. She still felt tired and used even though Urahara's intentions had been noble.

She hesitated with her next question,

"Is he- is Ichigo – alive? The real one I mean." She felt tiny as she spoke those words.

She watched Urahara shift uncomfortably, pulling his hat down further, and drumming his fingers on his cane, his fan uncharacteristically missing. His voice was still soft, empty of his usual antics,

"He's recovering." he paused letting his words sink in before continuing,

"You know Rukia, there was no way you could have known. They were identical in looks and he practically had front row seats, watching Ichigo, watching all of you and learning how to act around you. Don't blame yourself…"

His voice trailed off leaving a long empty silence in the room. Rukia let her head drop, her eyes focused on the lines of the white bandage that covered her arm.

"You knew though Urahara. One look and you knew, who, what he was from the very beginning. I saw it in your eyes the moment you saw him in that place. You knew what he was."

She felt rather than heard Urahara's indrawn breath. If it had been any other time she would have been thrilled that she had managed to make the one and only Urahara uncomfortable.

Now she just waited. The pain in her chest tightening, threatening to squeeze the very air from her lungs. She kept her head down lest he see her face. She glanced again at Urahara, facing him. She down all the thoughts, memories and emotions that raged against the door of her mind, pushed them down and locked them away.

She needed to know.

"How could all of this have happened?"

She saw him wince but only slightly. He had known the question was coming.

"Ever since he became a shinigami he has always carried both reitsu's within him. And I taught him to use the power of the hollow part of himself so he could be stronger instead of fighting it."

Rukia was left dumbstruck by Urahara's admonition. She couldn't believe Urahara a shinigami, a former captain no less would do such an abominable thing as to teach a person to use hollow powers. She could feel her anger rising in her like a huge unstoppable wave.

"How could you do such a despicable thing? You turned him into a monster." She felt herself losing her grip on her anger, humiliation, pain and betrayal as they fought their way to the surface of her conciseness to fight this new foe. She wanted to lash out at him, hurt him the same way she had be hurt.

His words stopped her cold.

"Rukia, I only taught him to use what was already there," he paused considering his words.

"You took his life, you put the sword through his heart."

"No."

Her thoughts jumped to the night she and Ichigo had become inextricably linked. It was too much. She couldn't believe it. Wouldn't believe it. She wracked her brain trying to think of an explanation, anything that would sooth her conscience.

"What about the others like Ichigo, the ones created by Aizen." To Rukia's ears her words sounded more like a desperate plea then an argument. She watched Urahara pause at her question. Maybe if she had been any other person he might have lied to spare her feelings.

"I'm sorry Rukia, but the situation surrounding Ichigo is infinitely different then what happened to the others. He had a choice for one..."

Rukia felt her heart break.

Letting out a choked laugh that was more sob then laugh Rukia turned away from Urahara. The truth of his words was too much. She brought her fingers to her face, feeling the unfamiliar wetness of tears.

"Some choice, become a shinigami or watch your sister's die."

"Rukia-"

"What are they going to do to him Urahara?" Asked Rukia, not wanting to hear any more of Urahara's explanations. She didn't need to hear anymore. It had been her own hand. She was the one responsible for the creature Ichigo had to keep locked inside.

"The captains are going to decide whether they will take him before Central 46," replied Urahara shrugging his shoulders.

Rukia almost toppled over at Urahara's statement. A hearing at Central 46 meant that they were considering locking Ichigo away. His expression stunned her.

She put her hands on the mat in front of her and leaned towards Urahara.

"What aren't you telling me? The hollow is gone, Ichigo is back now." She watched as he shook his head slowly.

"I'm afraid Ichigo's case may not warrant imprisonment but rather death."

Urahara leaned back with a sigh, his cane twirling slowly in his hands his customary smirk once again absent.

"Urahara the captains' do know the hollow part of Ichigo is gone right?" asked Rukia her voice at the edge of pleading.

"I have no idea. That's why you're going to have to ask them."

Rukia felt her face flush as she thought about the prospect of addressing all of the captains in such a formal matter. Brushing the thought aside for the moment, Rukia continued to press a surprisingly forthcoming Urahara for more information.

"Rukia if it was up to me, all of this would have been over and long forgotten." Rukia hid her grin as she imagined what Urahara actually meant by long forgotten.

"I think their afraid this might happen again. That he will become the next Aizen," proclaimed Urahara nonchalantly.

Rukia blanched at the memory of Ichigo's hollow form poised and ready to attack. He had even declared himself King of Hueco Mundo.

"But all of that is over Urahara. Right? The Ichigo we all know is back," stated Rukia. She watched Urahara's expression for his tell-tale mischievous grin but found none.

"When are they deciding?"


	15. Chapter 15

OK this is officially the second last chapter! I'm just putting the finishing touches on the ending now.

Enjoy!

~Pixiewolf3

* * *

CHAPTER 15

RUKIA

Rukia stood at attention behind her captain trying to ignore the throbbing pain in her shoulder. It had taken nearly all of her willpower to pull herself out of bed to her captain's door and ask him to let her join the meeting where the captain's would discuss Ichigo's fate.

"More like begged him," retorted her inner self.

She felt her shoulders slump a few centimetres at the remembrance of her performance in front of her captain. It was true she had knelt in front of her captain as he was preparing to leave for a captains meeting and begged to attend the meeting. Ukitake had just smiled and told her he would see what he could do. Urahara had been right, there was to be a meeting about Ichigo but he hadn't been clear about when it was. That had been a week ago.

The thought of Ichigo had suddenly brought back suppressed memories of their time together. She hadn't spent much time thinking about the fact that the last few month's she thought she had spent with Ichigo she wasn't actually with Ichigo.

She was made acutely aware of this fact over the last week as she continued to split her time between Karakura Town and the Soul Society. She felt her body respond instinctually to Ichigo's nearness and it didn't help that Ichigo didn't bother to hide his watching her. He did that a lot lately, almost as though he meant to make her uncomfortable though she knew that couldn't be it. Ichigo had been so apologetic when he realized how he'd hurt her by trying to push her away, even unintentionally, he had been trying to protect her. Still, the way he looked at her these days as though he knew her secret put her on edge.

"That's crazy-"her inner voice protested before her attention was drawn back to the scene in front of her.

The captain's meeting. She listened nervously, praying she hadn't missed anything about Ichigo. A few moments later she breathed out a little breath of relief, she hadn't missed anything but the conversation was finally turning to Ichigo.

"He's' still a shinigami and should be trained properly as a shinigami here at the Soul Society. He should not be punished for things out of his control," came the soft words of the 4th division captain Unohana Retsu. Rukia leaned forward as another captain voiced their opinion.

"It would be an interesting experiment, I would be glad to take the human into my lab for a time," said the 12th division captain Kurotshuchi Mayuri, licking his lips.

"Very interesting."

Rukia grimaced at Kurotshuchi's comment hopeful none of the other captains felt the same way.

The next to voice their opinion was that of 7th division captain Komamura Sajin,

"Kurosaki Ichigo has a similar power to the shinigami but he is NOT a shinigami, so he should therefore not be treated as one. If anything he should be imprisoned for being that hollow abomination." Rukia couldn't help but stare at the captain in disbelief, a knot forming in her stomach.

"Would they actually kill Ichigo?" She thought back to Urahara's words, about the captains fearing Ichigo could become the next Aizen and shivered.

"His past indiscretions cannot be ignored," came the steady voice of 6th division captain and her brother Kuchiki Byakuya. Rukia couldn't help but take a step towards her brother before remembering her place. Keeping her eyes glued to the floor, trying not to bring any attention to herself she couldn't help but feel a growing sense of dread. It was then that the captain commander spoke his voice a rich baritone,

"It is true Kurosaki Ichigo's past indiscretions cannot be ignored; neither can his heroic deeds of which I have been assured to be many. I have also been assured by some of you that he is free of hollow influence and by others that there is no way to be sure. I agree with the later, there is no way to be sure that Kurosaki Ichigo will never again become that monster."

The silence in the room felt like a heavy blanket on Rukia as the captain commanders words sunk in. Rukia racked her brain trying to think of any way that she could help her friend.

The words were out of her mouth before she could stop them,

"He is a human, we have no right to imprison or put a human to death." Rukia held her ground, too afraid to look away, keeping her expression carefully blank she repeated herself,

"Ichigo is human. We have no jurisdiction over the humans." She repeated trying desperately to keep the terror out of her voice as she spoke the words, all too aware of the breech in conduct she was committing. She could feel her brother's cool gaze settle on her, his anger radiating from across the room.

"Can't we let him s-stay where he is? He's not a threat to anyone. The hollow part of him is gone forev-"

"Kuchiki Rukia the matter has already been decided and I don't have to remind you of the consequence if you disobey this order. It is not up to you to understand only to obey."

Rukia could feel her chest tighten painfully at the finality of the last statement. She couldn't comprehend the thought of losing her friend and her companion of 3 years. But the decision had been made and the time for discussion was over.

Rukia couldn't bear to look her brother in the eyes knowing he felt she had betrayed him once again like all those years ago. When she finally looked up again, Ukitake Jyuushiro stood before her, a worried expression on his face.

She felt shaky on her feet as the captain's filed from the room leaving her and her captain alone.

"Their going to kill him, and there's nothing I can do to stop it," stated Rukia matter-of-factly.

She didn't need to hear her captain's words to know his answer.

ICHIGO

"Oye! Chad, Orihime, Uryu wait up," panted Ichigo as he jogged to catch up to his friends. It was the last day of high school, and he was in a good mood. Uryu rolled his eyes at the grinning Ichigo, but slowed down to wait for his friend.

"Can you believe it," panted Ichigo, "no more school!"

Ichigo watched with surprise as both Chad and Uryu froze in mid step, terror etched on their collective faces. That's when it happened. Orhime let out an ear splitting wail that Ichigo could swear he could feel in his bones. Ichigo looked to Chad and Uryu for reassurance only to have his hopes dashed. Clearly they had stepped into this minefield already.

"Orihime, Orihime," yelled Ichigo grabbing her shoulders in an attempt to get her attention. She stopped her wailing abruptly letting out a pitiful sniff before wiping her nose with a tissue. Letting her go he grinned awkwardly at her,

"the day is not over yet," he said weakly. She sniffed one more time before the tears disappeared, replaced by a beaming smile.

"Where's Rukia?" She asked clasping her hands behind her back.

"Oh, she was called to an emergency meeting at the soul society this morning but she said she would be back in time for class," replied Ichigo urging them on towards the school so they wouldn't ask any more questions about Rukia.

At the sight of the school he couldn't help but feel reminisant of his days or lack of days there.

Three years seemed to have had passed in the blink of an eye and soon it would be over and he would be off to university and then the rest of his life. He couldn't help but feel both excitement and trepidation about what he would experience in the coming years.

He grimaced, his father, of course had been absolutely no help. He kept crying out 'my baby boy' whenever Ichigo tried talking about university. His sisters had teased him relentlessly until he had told them they would graduate eventually, and that dad would do the same to them. He couldn't help feeling annoyingly uplifted by the memory.

The group turned the corner; he strained to make out a certain familiar black headed woman. He felt a brief pang of disappointment at her absence and something more.

Apprehension.

With Chad, Uryu and Orihime it was as if the last months hadn't happened. He had for the most part avoided them. Meanwhile his friends had chocked his odd disappearances as some sort of shinigami work. It was a relief to fall back into old habits with his friends.

Walking through the gates he continued to subconsciously search the grounds for his friend. She was rarely late, hell he was late a lot more often than she was. As the first bell rang he gave the school grounds one more cursory sweep before following his friends inside.

RUKIA

The school was silent and empty by the time Rukia arrived. She looked down at her watch, clicking her tongue in disgust, she hated being late. She walked through the silent halls, feeling her apprehension grow as she neared the classroom she shared with Ichigo. She had yet to even broach the subject of the last few months with Ichigo. In her mind it was too soon to talk about what had happened. The wounds were still too raw. And on top of everything else she felt the burden of the captain's decision weighing heavily on her.

She wanted more than anything to tell him, to warn him in some way,

"I am forbidden to warn Ichigo," she repeated to herself, her hand paused at the door to her classroom. Whenever an order like this was issued it was to be taken and carried out in absolute secrecy.

She had been dreading this moment hoping that it was just some sort of terrible dream that she would wake up and everything would be back to the way things were. Ichigo was still her friend and companion, always protecting the town from hollows and there was no questioning his loyalties.

"Are the captains right? Are the lives of a few thousand people worth risking on a maybe? Maybe Ichigo will remain in control and maybe that hollow part of him will never come to the surface again. Or maybe…"

Rukia pushed the ugly thoughts aside determined not to think them as she opened the door quietly and walked through the door her eyes drawn instantly to the figure sitting next to the window. He was obviously not paying attention to the class, his eyes locked on hers. She crossed the room quickly, and slid into the empty seat behind him.

"You're late," whispered the orange haired boy in front of her. She suppressed a smirk and opened her text book.

'The captain's meeting went longer than I thought it would," she mumbled, hoping the lines she practiced on her way back to Karakura Town wouldn't give away her aching heart or the fact that she was hiding information from him. She had never been a very good liar.

She turned her attention back to the class, trying her best to calm herself. She tried to focus on what the teacher was saying but found her thoughts being pulled back to Ichigo.

"How can I tell him? I can't even bring myself to hate him. Not really.

It's not that I don't know Ichigo cares for me too, but I'm too damaged. I can't be the person he wants me to be."

Rukia looked down at a torn corner of her notebook page forcing back tears, her heart heavy in her chest.

Rukia cringed inwardly as the shame she felt at the thought her betrayal returned.

"I feel like such a fool. He's still in here, in my head. Everywhere I go, he's with me, like a fucking ghost I can't get rid of."

Rukia ran her hand over her wet cheeks to dry them trying to push the thoughts of him away.

"What is done is done. I can't go back, only forward. This isn't about me anymore. I have to help Ichigo."

Her thoughts crept back to that mornings' meeting.

"What can I do?" Rukia asked herself, trying to think of something she missed.

She though back to her conversation with Yoruichi and Urahara. She had gone to them right after the Captain's meeting that morning. She knew she was toeing the line by sharing what had been said at the meeting. She had reasoned that the captains told her not to tell Ichigo and the other shinigami but they hadn't told her not to tell Urahara who was not a shinigami.

They both listened to her story patiently, when she finished, both Yoruichi and Urahara looked visibly worried. She begged them for their help but neither could offer a solution other then hiding Ichigo away from the soul society. It would be a grim choice but perhaps his best option.

Rukia stiffened in her seat. She couldn't imagine never seeing Ichigo again but she knew if she told him the captain's decision he would do something dangerous and get himself killed.

She imagined herself being buried alive by all the secrets she kept locked away inside herself and shuttered.

On top of everything she knew she couldn't avoid his questions about the last few months forever so the thought of spending even more time with Ichigo trying to protect him had made her gut wrench.

"Well at least I can make eye contact with him now," she thought morbidly.

She shook the depressing thoughts from her mind and turned her head from her workbook back to the window. She knew she was being silly, how could she help Ichigo when she could barely handle being around him.

Three years ago she would never have questioned decisions made by the captains and the captain commander, but now after living like a human she had begun to change her views.

It had been slow at first; Ichigo had fought with her constantly. She had resisted everything from trying new foods, to making friends. She had even begun to plan with Orihime her life at university.

Inwardly she grieved for the life she would never have now.

How could anyone love someone as damaged as her?

ICHIGO

He was having a hard time concentrating. Rukia was never late, whatever was said at the captain's meeting must have been important. Not that she told him she had even gone to a captain's meeting. Instead he had found out on his way past Urahara's on his way to school. Just another way he felt Rukia was avoiding him.

"I didn't, we didn't-"

Her words still resonated in his mind. Her lie.

He restlessly twirled his pen through his fingers trying not to look at the clock again. Patience was not one of his virtues. He wanted to turn to her right now and have her describe in detail what happened. And it took every ounce of self control he had not to turn around in the middle of class. When the bell for lunch finally rang he turned to face Rukia.

"Let's go to the roof so we can talk in private," stated Ichigo noting the look of surprise and panic on Rukia's face. He didn't wait for a response.

They walked the short distance to the school roof in silence

Not waiting for Rukia he walked over to the fence at the edge of the roof and leaned against it letting the cool wind wash over him. He noted she stayed next to the door to the stairs.

A few months ago Rukia would have sat next to him in this very spot as they ate lunch together. Slowly, with time, they had opened up to each other, a fraction at a time, allowing small glimpses of the big picture.

He noticed her arms were wrapped around her slim frame and she was shivering.

"Do you want my jacket," he asked. She nodded her head no.

He gritted his teeth they were right back to square-one, right back to the Rukia who was single-minded in her drive, the Rukia who threw her body into impossible fights, the Rukia with walls so thick around her heart that Ichigo feared it would never see the light of day again.

"Are you sure you don't want my coat?" he ventured for the second time, already certain of her response.

"I'm fine, Ichigo." He was getting pretty sick of hearing those same three words all the time.

Sure, she said she was fine who wouldn't be after narrowly escaping him then crossing over to somehow free Ichigo from his own mind. The details Urahara had shared with him about how this process actually happened still left him queasy. And after doing all of this she should have stayed put at Urahara's to heal more but almost immediately Rukia had begun making several mysterious trips to the soul society over the last week which he only knew about because of conversations with Urahara.

He was more than a little worried about her.

Then he remembered the look in her eyes as she lied to him.

"Are you okay?"

Ichigo couldn't suppress the start at her voice, having hardly heard it for days now. He glanced in her direction intending to throw her words 'I'm fine' right back at her when his eyes caught hers.

What he found there took his breath away.

The blank gaze of the shinigami he had seen over the last few days was gone; in its place was his Rukia. The Rukia he had fallen in love with. The Rukia he hadn't seen in months.

The Rukia that had lied to him.

He felt like a fool.

"I asked her point blank and she lied to my face. What else is she lying about? Should I treat it like pulling off a band-aid? Just do it quickly and don't think about it," he wondered.

"You lied to me." The words were out of his mouth in an instant.

She made a face. That confused face of hers, with her brow all furrowed and her lips pursed.

"Excuse me?"

That seemed to be her way of answering anything he said to her lately.

"You heard me." He said coldly, more coldly than he intended too.

"You lied to me."

She pursed her lips again, eyes narrowed, clearly trying to gauge the best possible way to answer his attack.

"About what?" She asked, her voice was soft, puzzled. He hated it.

He sighed, briefly closing his eyes, before he locked their gazes together again.

"Rukia, it's me. I'm willing to talk about what's bothering you, but you're gonna have to help me out, here."

RUKIA

She stood across from him awkwardly; he had caught her by surprise. She could barely look at him standing in his school uniform. He reminded her too much of her time with him. Slowly undoing the buttons on that white cotton shirt one at a time, letting her fingers brush against his warm muscled chest.

But she couldn't think about that now she reminded herself tersely.

She didn't want to think about it anymore, she was unable to stop the blush on her face as if his kisses where etched plainly on her skin for all to see.

She glanced at Ichigo and pain stung her heart sharply. She tried to ignore it, to bury it in a corner of her heart. She tried and failed.

She wondered if she had 'guilt' and 'secrets' written all over her face too.

She looked down unable to look him in the eyes as she told him.

"I think I loved him."

But at the last second she looked up to see his reaction, he looked genuinely surprised by the words. Surprised, as if he had been expecting her to say something else all together. She watched as the realization dawn on him, and anger and frustration reappeared on his face.

She closed her eyes as she felt her eyes started to prickle. Wrapping her arms tighter around herself she bowed her head again.

"Rukia…" he said his voice calm. She realized then without looking that he had moved closer and was now standing in front of her.

She opened her eyes and raised her head, but she immediately looked away. It took everything she had not to move away from him. He was too close. But this was a conversation they needed to have. She owed him that much at least.

"Ichigo? I'm- I'm so sorry."

She looked up at him, and was almost stricken by the raw sorrow she saw in his eyes. The stinging feeling intensified in her eyes, and she swallowed hard biting back more words instead letting a long silence fall between them.

She shifted uncomfortably, trying to warm herself in the chill air.

"Do you miss him?" His voice was barely louder than a whisper again, but his pain resonated in every word he spoke. His question surprised her, she hardly admitted to herself what happened let alone how she felt about him, she hesitated letting Ichigo's words sink in.

"Did she miss him?"

Every logical thought in her head screamed back a resounding no. But then that one voice in the corner of her mind surprised her.

"You miss him because he was able to show you how he feels, he was able to act. And because he's broken like you. Ichigo could never love someone who's as broken as you are."

Ichigo let out a harsh pain filled laugh and turned from her.

The suddenness of it surprised her and she reached out her hand unconsciously before pulling it back, "Ichigo, it's not what you think."

Her heart was racing in her chest now, loud against her ears, and she could feel her fingers starting to shake against her arms as she hugged herself.

"You loved him Rukia."

She was shocked by his words. "What? No, Ichigo, no, it isn't like that."

He spun around taking a step closer, anger and frustration and something else in his words. "How is it, then?" He sounded almost desperate now his eyes locked on hers.

"You obviously still have feelings for him."

"There are…feelings." She heard herself admit, clearly unwillingly, and she held his gaze despite her sudden desire to curl herself up in a corner.

"But those feelings…I don't know how to even begin to explain them." She could feel herself getting defensive, feeling her anger and embarrassment threaten to spill into her words. She tried to keep her voice soft and low, because she knew it would hurt and she was trying to lessen the blow. It didn't do much.

"The fact is, we were in a relationship together, Ichigo, I was strangely happy, and I thought you were too."

She watched him avert his eyes then. She felt her resolve waver as she bared her shame and her soul to him. She struggled to keep her voice steady as she continued her declaration.

"The day I learned who he really was…I had never felt so bad in my whole life, Ichigo." He met her eyes again.

"I know I have no right to ask for your pity or compassion, but believe me, I'm paying the price for having been stupidly blinded by-." She let the last word slip away unspoken. It shocked her too much to think she could have ever had such strong feelings for a monster.

But then he wasn't a monster to her.

"What I don't understand is…how you can have feelings for him, he's a hollow?"

She chuckled darkly. She couldn't help it. When said out load it sounded absurd. She couldn't help but sigh again, frustrated at the little thoughts creeping into her mind.

"I don't want to think about him, I don't want to ever have to think about him again. But…"

"I'm so sorry Ichigo."

She felt utterly defeated. She stood before the man she loved more then anything and she was going to lose him. She bowed her head and closed her eyes, she felt cold everywhere, she couldn't tell if it was from the air or from her realization that she was going to lose her best friend and companion. Maybe it was better this way; it would make it easier for him to disappear with Urahara when the time came.

A few moments later she opened her eyes, stunned, as she felt his fingers on her face, cupping chin and raising her head so she would look at him. He looked grim; she searched his eyes expecting anger and disgust but found none.

"I can't help myself, Rukia. I think about you and me and every time I recall those moments, all those things we talked about, and the things that have happened…it just brings it all back. Those feelings, they were real, and somehow it helps to know, that it wasn't all a waste."

His warm hand brushed lovingly across her face wiping away a tear from her skin with a sweep of his thumb.

"I can't make those memories of him go away for you Rukia. But I can ask that you give us a chance."

Despite it all he wanted to give them a chance. She couldn't believe it. She was overwhelmed by his words, by what they meant, and she was overwhelmed by his presence. She felt her hesitation and fear slip away.

A glimmer of silver flitted through her peripheral vision but she ignored it as she ignored her pounding heart and shaky legs, lost in his eyes, feeling those traitorous tears roll down her cheeks.

She wanted desperately to be with Ichigo and to push away all of her doubts.

"Do you think you can forgive me?" She asked suddenly terrified, trying hard not to listen to her negative thoughts.

Warmth spread through her as he pressed his lips against hers soft and gentle. Her hands came up slowly, wrapping them around his neck, bringing his body closer to hers, pressing the length of her body against his. She opened her mouth her tongue running over his bottom lip, and he instantly responded, his lips parting and granting her entrance.

She felt an intense throbbing awaking deep inside her, she moved her body against him, following the rhythm of their mouths and tongues. When she felt his hands disappear under her shirt, warm palms on the silky skin of her back, she let out a low moan shivering with pleasure.

That's when he let go of her mouth, taking his hands away from under her shirt resting his forehead against hers. They didn't say anything for a while, simply listening to their heavy breathing gradually calming down.

Maybe he could be all hers, after all.

It happened in less than an instant.

There was blood everywhere...


	16. Chapter 16

It's been great. Thanks to everyone who reviewed.

~Pixiewolf

* * *

CHAPTER 16

RUKIA

It took a few seconds for Rukia to realize what had happened. She lay on the ground several hundred meters from the school and every bone in her body hurt and she knew without needing to look that her shoulder wound had reopened.

She looked down at her hands and they were covered in blood.

For a few panicked seconds she wondered if she was wounded worse then she thought when her eyes landed on the twisted figure of a shinigami in unusual clothing.

"A bounty hunter," she breathed feeling terror wash over her.

There was something about the way he was laying that told her he wasn't going to get back up. Ever. She let herself relax a little before popping a mod soul into her mouth from her chappy candy dispenser and taking to the sky in one swift movement. It didn't take her long to find Ichigo. He was some distance away engaged in a heated battle with what she could only assume was another bounty hunter. She took position on the ground in a secluded spot, close enough to see the fight but hidden enough that the bounty hunter would be unaware of her presence. She shuttered thinking of the dead bounty hunter.

"It's not like him to kill like that." But when she looked across the landscape at the heated battle between Ichigo and the other bounty hunter her concern evaporated, it was kill or be killed.

She watched as Ichigo made short work of the second bounty hunter. It shouldn't have been that easy she told herself. Bounty hunters are trained to take down the strongest of shinigami, and there where two. She eyed Ichigo and the now unconscious bounty hunter unease twisting inside her. There would be more sent.

"What was that? Why are shinigami attacking us?"

Rukia heart jumped in surprise at finding Ichigo next to her without her noticing. Rukia opened her mouth to answer but closed it a second later her mind racing. She didn't know what the captain commander would do if she told Ichigo the truth. Right now they had orders to bring Ichigo back to the soul society alive because Ichigo would not be expecting an attack and would not be able to defend as effectively against them. But all of that was predicated on him not knowing what was going on. However once the captain commander found out Ichigo had evaded the first set of bounty hunters she knew what he would do.

She made her choice.

"There here to capture you and take you back to the soul society," she paused struggling for the words.

"To put you on trial, to have you executed."

She wondered if he had felt the same way she did when he had found out she was to be put to death years earlier. She never imagined their situations would be reversed.

She watched the emotions play on his face as her words sunk in. She ached to go to him and wrap her arms around him and comfort him and tell him everything would be all right. But she knew those words would be a lie. The soul society would keep sending bounty hunters after him, hunting him and anyone close to him and he would either have to surrender to them or kill them or run for the rest of his life.

She could see the betrayal he felt written all over his face.

She grieved for him. He had made so many sacrifices of himself for the shinigami.

"They're afraid the hollow inside you will take over again. They're afraid of what would happen. I tried to change their minds…" she paused when she saw his face harden into a mask of stoic anger.

"They're afraid Ichigo," she whispered feeling the sudden urge to defend her brethren.

She stopped when he turned to look at her, his eyes cold and hard his words making her shiver.

"You knew."

She paused briefly aware he would see through a lie. There had already been too many secrets between them. She nodded her head slowly feeling the guilt bubbling just bellow the surface of her emotions. He closed his eyes briefly. She wanted to tell him she didn't tell him because she was protecting him the same way he had tried to protect her but she knew her reasons didn't matter now.

Moments passed. Something changed in Ichigo. It was subtle but she knew instantly that he had made a decision. He strode over to her, determination and something she could only describe as acceptance clearly outlined in his features. She was surprised when he placed his hands on her shoulders.

His eyes danced even as she looked at him and there was something in the look of them that almost convinced her she could feel his pain and was drawn to him because of it. She saw desire and need wrapped up in something she could not define.

She wrapped her arms around him and drew him to her, transfixed; she didn't even notice how cold his skin felt when she started to kiss him.

His lips devoured hers with hunger, driving the fear and concern further and further away from her mind without her even being aware of it. She felt his hands running through her hair as his kisses becoming more hungered as he started sliding down her lips, past her jaw, finally arriving at her neck. She closed her eyes lost in sensation and the rapture of feeling his touch on her skin, she felt her body come alive with arousal.

"Come with me and we can be together," he breathed, his words sending shivers through her as his lips brushed her neck.

His words took her by surprise.

He was asking her to give up everything to be with him. She hadn't expected Ichigo to ask that of her.

He didn't seem to notice her hesitation as his continued to kiss her neck.

She took a step back breaking her contact with him.

"I'll go with you. I-I love you," she stated with some hesitation the words feeling thick and heavy on her tongue.

Ichigo smiled at her in his familiar way taking her hand in his.

"Come on I know a place we can go."

* * *

Rukia followed Ichigo as he weaved his way slowly between trees and other vegetation. They had crossed over to the soul society through a portal Urahara had setup a few years before for any discrete forays into the soul society. She would have been elated with the fact that she was finally able to be with Ichigo had their situation been different and had the forest not seemed so familiar.

Rukia glanced around her trying to keep her concern about the familiarity of the forest from adding to her already numerous worries.

"Ichigo are you sure this is the best place to go? Maybe we should have stayed; your father could have helped."

"You don't have to worry Rukia, this is the best place for us," stated Ichigo. After a long moment he added,

"Besides if we had stayed in Karakura Town it would have put everyone in danger and I can't take that risk."

Rukia nodded her head in agreement as they walked, this was for the best.

It wasn't so much a cave as a wide crack in the rock. Rukia shuttered unconsciously as they entered the cave, that familiar feeling much stronger. She turned around slowly letting her eyes adjust to the dim light so she could see the entire cave.

"How'd you know about this place?" She asked wrapping her arms around her body.

She jumped a little as she felt Ichigo come up behind her.

"Hey," Ichigo said wrapping his arms around her waist and pulling her hips firmly against his, "it's going to be okay." He smiled turning her to face him and lifting her chin up as he kissed her.

"Ichigo…" Rukia tried to speak but opening her mouth only invited him to kiss her harder, until he was driving his tongue past her lips and walking her further into the cave, all the while his large hands ensuring she didn't get the chance to put any distance between them.

The tingle that she felt all the way to her toes hadn't ceased even now. Losing herself in the taste of him, Rukia parted her lips and allowed Ichigo fresh plunder.

"Shh…" he said pulling away long enough to meet her gaze he eyes glistening with dark mischief.

"I'm here now Rukia," he said huskily. "And we're all alone."

Rukia couldn't help but grin a little at that comment as she tried to extricate herself from his enthusiastic hands.

"Ichigo we should be coming up with a plan or something. Try and figure out our next move. I mean we can't stay here forever after all."

Ichigo gave her a look of impatience before promptly setting her on the ground his hands already inside her clothes.

"I don't want to wait any more Rukia."

He parted her legs deftly and placed himself between them, effectively pinning her to the ground before claiming her mouth again. He plied her with hard, demanding kisses, sucking and nibbling her bottom lip before sliding his tongue past her teeth.

Rukia moaned softly, feeling her composure slipping as her thoughts fragmented with each touch of Ichigo's hands to bare skin. Ichigo shifted against her, until she could feel him through the fabric of her clothes, hard and absolute. He had touched her before but never like this. There was an edge to it, sharp like a knife, making her wet with each surge of pleasure she felt.

She could almost feel _Him_ in Ichigo's forceful movements.

"Ichigo…" she spoke, trying hard to keep herself anchored to the shore of reason. This wasn't right and somewhere, beneath the need for him, Rukia knew something was wrong. The Ichigo she knew would have been focused on escaping the bounty hunters or finding a way out of the problem all together.

"God I want to fuck you Rukia," his answer was a growl. "I want the only thing to come out of your mouth is you screaming my name when you're coming around me."

Reality hit her like a slap to the face at his words. This was definitely not Ichigo.

Cloth ripped with his impatience and Rukia felt the chill air of the day brush over her shoulders like a lover's whisper before his hands were caressing the soft skin of her arms. There was still a bit of fight left in her because she was Kuchiki Rukia and no matter what she felt about Ichigo, she was a shinigami first.

"Ichigo …" she tried once more, when his mouth left hers, his lips sliding down her neck to where he had torn her clothing open.

Rukia saw him grinning at her before his head dipped and she was running her fingers through his hair. Turned on and hating herself for it, Rukia gasped as she felt his mouth close on one nipple.

She whimpered, feeling him bite and tease. The tip of his tongue washed the hardened skin after each sharp bite, alternating between sharp pain and soothing pleasure.

She moaned, and somewhere her brain registered the sound of her shoe dropping to the floor and the slow shift of fabric as he freed himself of his clothes. She struggled to maintain some semblance of control as Ichigo kissed his way down her stomach. She felt herself coming apart at the seams as the patch between her legs dampened in all the excitement. She could feel Ichigo's own arousal digging into the core of her through thin layers of cloth that still remained of her clothing, pushing and driving deeper between her legs.

Near senseless now, Rukia abandoned the battle her brain had been trying so hard to win.

Oh she had wanted Ichigo so much before this; respecting his desire to be friends and to take things slow but Rukia found it hard to be slow about anything so physical, so primal.

His deft fingers squeezed the nipple of her breast as his tongue ran circles around her clit.

Rukia shuttered no longer able to do anything but cry out his name.

"Oh God Ichigo.." she hissed as he hit her clit.

Suddenly, he stiffened if only of a fraction of a second pulling away from her abruptly.

Her eyes flew open to question this but she didn't have the chance to say the word as he flipped her onto her stomach. She felt her breath leave her as she landed hard on the cave floor.

She cried out as her chin bumped against the rough surface of the cave floor. When she heard more tearing and knew that her clothes were completely ruined.

She looked over her shoulder, through a tangle of dark hair in question when she saw his eyes.

For a moment, he looked almost like he hated her. Rukia wanted to ask what she had done but the question died on her lips when she was roughly penetrated by a finger that buried itself inside her all the way to the knuckle. She let out a moan as he pumped one finger and then two, steadily into her body; his hand wrapped tightly around one thigh.

She felt herself pushing back into his hand, riding his digits for every ounce of pleasure they could make her feel. She let out a low hiss as his thumb brushed against her clit his fingers still continuing its sensuous assault.

"This is more then you deserve," he breathed into her ear as he leaned over her.

"Ichi…." She started to say when he shoved even harder, breaking the word in her throat.

"Not just Ichigo," he growled with a hint of menace.

"What…" She stammered, trying to regain some control despite the pleasure he was making her experience.

"I don't understand…" she breathed, confused stopping her motions.

His hand ceased and she could feel his reitsu shift suddenly, sliding over her like a snake, leaving the air in the cave heavy with power. It felt greasy around her suddenly making the space of the cave far too small.

She was shocked back to reality when she heard the rustle of fabric and the feel of cool air.

Heavy and erect, his cock slapped lightly against the smooth skin of her ass.

As if he could read her mind his hand tightened painfully around her bared thigh. She searched the cave for her blade but it was nowhere in sight.

She tried to pull away from him, nearly sobbing as he pulled her back with one swift movement driving himself deep between the wet of her legs, giving no warning. Rukia let out a sharp cry of pain and pleasure as he wrapped his hands around her hips and began pumping into her relentlessly. She let out another low moan as she felt herself building towards climax, the raw sexuality of his penetration feeding her arousal. He pulled almost all the way out and dove in again, repeating this torturous exercise until her muscles were clenching at him hard like a lover's desperate embrace, trying to keep him inside her.

She knew she would be hurt tomorrow but she didn't care, she just didn't want him to stop. Rukia felt herself push back into him, meeting his thrusts, until they were slamming into each other. Grabbing her hair, he pulled her back against his sweat slicked chest and captured her mouth in a deep, open mouthed kiss. A hand wrapped around her breast as he continued to thrust until she felt him climax.

From her breast, she felt his hand slide down the contours of her body, before finding her clit through the mass of short, damp curls between her legs.

"Are you close?" he whispered in her ear, his voice was wet with lust.

"Yes,' she almost sobbed.

"Then beg," his voice became husky, tender even.

"Yes, oh please….oh please make me come…please…."

She gasped, as he increased his thrust, pistoning in an out of her until she knew nothing else.

Ichigo pulled out then, turning her around and extracting another sob of disappointment from her. He hovered over her, his eyes locked on hers.

Rukia was disorientated, not just from the sex but also from what was going on. Was this Ichigo? She felt him plunge himself deep inside her once again filling her to core his fingers sliding slowly around her neck and beginning to squeeze sending stars across her vision.

"Ichigoooo." She screamed his name and as Rukia felt him explode inside her, spilling his seed into the core of her, and somewhere even more remote was the horrible, horrible realization that she had made the worst mistake of her life.

The world faded into darkness.

* * *

When Rukia opened her eyes, the cave was dark and Ichigo or whoever that was, was nowhere in sight. She took stock of her surroundings and her injuries before she attempted to sit up. Every part of her ached.

Rukia felt ashamed because she felt she had been consumed alive by the god of dark lust who just so happened to be wearing the face of the man she loved, using his voice, his hands to touch her. And no matter how much she tried, Rukia knew that _He_ and Ichigo were sharing the same mind now, reflecting each others suppressed wants and desires.

To some degree, she was almost flattered by the passion Ichigo felt for her, the passion that he no longer felt he had to restrain or deny and was happy to exploit to its fullest. But that wasn't Ichigo she told herself. Not really.

How did this happen again. Urahara told me the hollow part of Ichigo had been trapped forever. That he couldn't ever again forcefully take over Ichigo's mind and body. Could Urahara have been wrong?" She asked herself. Had the soul society been right in their assessment of the danger posed by the hollow inside Ichigo's mind.

She thought about the two different eyes that had looked down at her as he choked her into unconsciousness raised more questions then answers. Somehow _He_ had taken over Ichigo again she considered trying to make sense of the new puzzle. She thought of the one gold eye again,

"Maybe Ichigo's fighting _Him_?"

Rukia swallowed reaching out for her torn clothing, seeing the bruises on her arms and torso for the first time. Whatever it took, whatever she had to endure she would save him again because she loved him. Wherever he was, trapped in his mind she was going to find him and destroy the hollow in him once and for all. This silent oath gave her some measure of calm, some resolve.

She stood up and began walking slowly to the mouth of the cave determined to escape and find Urahara. She wondered how much longer Ichigo could fight the hollow within him.

The wave of pain that hit her had been sudden and terrible.

Rukia doubled over and she felt warmth spreading down her stomach, soiling her shirt. She dropped to her knees, hands clutched at her stomach as another lash of pain sliced through her body, this time her back. She struggled to look up at her assailant, she wanted to cry out but when her eyes met his she remained silent. Standing before her was Ichigo licking her blood off long claws.

Her eyes widened as she looked down at her bloodied hands.

"We wanted you to be mine. We would have been happy."

Rukia struggled to comprehend his words as she lay bleeding on the cave floor.

"What have you done…?" Rukia struggled to say as her world turned red.

She stared up into the eyes of Ichigo and saw for the first time the malice that was reflected in them.

"You betrayed us. Both of us. We have joined together to destroy the ones who betrayed us. It's more then they deserve."

She turned her eyes from him not able to meet his eyes again because it would destroy her. She had known what it was like to feel him touch her, to know passion and while it was now an open wound in her heart to know that he had used her, she was still in love with him.

Rukia tried one last time to reach her him, "don't do this! You don't need to do this. I love you."

She felt the soft touch of a clawed hand on her cheek,

"Liar."

And the world she knew ceased to be.

Love blinds us all.

The End


End file.
